Today I was thinking about a few things that helped my husband and I most, while raising our four boys. We agreed early on that personal integrity and our own obedience to the commandments were import to both of us.
Also in order to raise our children to be obedient to the principles of the gospel, we had to be willing to live those principles ourselves as well. We also strive each day to seek the Lord's help to be good parents. More often than not they have followed us by example.
Being obedient doesn't mean that our lives are free of problems. Our kids don't always follow our example. They have their free agency to choose to obey us or not. They also know that there will be consequences for their actions. Just as there are for all adults. However as we each honestly seek to be obedient and seek the Lord's help as we strive to be good parents, our chances at being successful parents increase.
I know that as I humbly try to be the best parent I can possibly be, I'm blessed in my efforts.
I remember one time when all my boys were in Elementary school. They were ages 5 through 12. A real bundle of energy too! I can remember loosing my temper often because I was so exhausted trying to keep up with all of them.
There was one particular day where I was on the brink of erupting like a Mount Vesuvius--again. I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me instead. What I saw on my face was a shock. Such an ugly, horrid face glared back at me. Who was this stranger looking at me I thought? I slowly turned on the cold water and splashed it all over my face and cried my eyes out. I was horrified that my kids had seen me like that. I had seen that same look on a parents face as a child. That look cut me to the core. I never wanted my kids to see that in my home again. Then an idea came to me...
I went back out to my kids, who were all sitting in time out, just waiting for the "Scary Mommy" to return and eat them alive, I think. They were silent and huddled together. Then they saw the sadness on my face and the tears in my eyes. I watched as they relaxed.
I then told them, "Mommy is going in time out now. I love you and I'm so sorry I scared all of you so much. You all sit there in time out quietly until it's 4 o'clock then you can watch TV quietly. "Jason," I looked to my 12 year old, "You're in charge until I'm done, okay" He nodded.
Not a word did they murmur in argument as I walked to my room. The shock on their faces was all I 'd needed to see. Mommy was in BIG trouble. She was in time out. Wow, what a concept.
Children are not discouraged by imperfect parents. When you make a mistake parental repentance is so important. First you have to realize you've made a mistake. Good job thats the big one! Then ask for forgiveness. Your kids will be astounded if it's the very first time. Your honest behavior will invite your kids to behave honestly and to trust you too. You are also teaching a much needed lesson on personal repentance. Teaching by example is key.
*"Parents who honor the covenants and promises they make with God and men teach integrity to their children."
I can honestly say that I've never lied to my kids. They expect the truth everytime I'm with them. It's a great honor to be thought so well of. They also know I'm striving to be perfect--but I've got a long way to go and that a good thing. I'm doing my best with what I've been given. I know my boys will do even better than I've been able to accomplish in my life. It's just the way it works.
I guess my advice to my readers is, raise your kids with integrity, love and honesty. If you're not, repent and keep striving to be the best parent you can possibly be. Write down those things you need to improve upon. Invite the Lord to help you meet your goals. I know that you will do just fine.
In closing I'd like to remind you to hug those kids daily. They don't stay kids for long. You'll cherish those moments when your kids are away on those missions or off to college. I know I do.
*LDS.org
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