One thing I will never forget that she said to me is that "I have come to learn that the principle of opposition in all things is infinite and eternal and real. For every darkness there is equivalent light, and vice versa." I'm trying very hard to trust in the Lord during these hard times as I take care of my husband. I'm trying to look for the silver lining and for the most part am successful. I remember all those who were in place to help me at the right time and am grateful.
Sometimes flashes of memory come to me as I drive down the same road Terry was wounded on. I have to drive that road every time I pick my son up from High School. I pray often as I drive that road to shut away the memories of the day he was hurt. Sometimes I'm even successful. I sing hymns when that doesn't work. I know that in time the memory of seeing him laying in the street bleeding will fade. I pray for that day.
Now as I care for him when he's in pain and restless, I feel such love for my eternal companion. I'm so glad he's safe and I can care for him now at home instead of in the hospital.
I almost feel guilty that I'm happy to have him with me so much, when I know he really wants to get back to work. I've missed him so much as he worked two jobs to help our missionaries and to keep food on the table. He always works too hard. He loves his family and was trying his best to provide for us all. But I missed him...
No one should have to hurt so bad. Especially not the ones we love. I pray daily that his pain will get better and life will get back to normal soon. I check often while he's sleeping to see if he's still breathing. I hope that's normal. I smile a lot around other people, but I'm not smiling on the inside yet. When he's well again I will, I promise. Perhaps I'll even laugh more. That will be so nice.
Today we went to church-- Terry , Hunter and I. My heart was on my sleeve. We almost didn't make it. He tired after getting showered and dressed. In the end he insisted and we were on our way. Halfway through Sacrament Meeting Terry had to go out and sit on the couch. I followed. He was so happy to be back in church. He was ready to go home after an hour, which I expected. So many people were happy to see him. He's making progress. I know that there are many out there who are nearly as relieved as I that he is doing so well. Thank you for your continued prayers.
Tomorrow we find out what is going on with Terry's liver which is acting up and then onto the Attorney for advice. I've never had a legal problem, this is just the gift that keeps on giving it would seem. I pray I can be equal to the task at hand. Enduring to the end has taken on a whole new meaning for the Otis family.
PS. Elder Otis is still in Sweden. More photo's tomorrow:)
1 comment:
I'm afraid you just can't help it - I can see your optimism shining through the awful pain.
I pray for good news from the doc and lawyer tomorrow.
Don't forget to keep on looking for the Lord's tender mercies through all this. He's with you.
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