He Lives To Calm My Troubled Heart

Have you ever had someone in your life that was thoughtless or hurtful on a regular basis? Have you tried to resolve the underlying problem only to find that it really wasn't about you, but about their unresolved issues with their own past? Some people allow their past pain to shape their future without knowing it.

I do have someone in my life like this. I've had to forgive them many times over through the years. On the surface I've been able to act like nothing bothers me. I do let them know as the spirit dictates, when I don't agree with them or find a way to turn them around from their negative thinking.

I've shown my kids that I indeed, can forgive--rising above my hurt and pain. I want to show them a better example, so that they can have healthier relationships with their loved ones.

My dreams seem to haunt me though and thoughts pop up from time to time that I shove down deep to deal with later. I almost have to pray them away just to be free of them. Sometimes I don't seem to be able to bring myself to call them as often as I should because of the mean spirited words they say each time we have a conversation. Who would want to talk to them?

When you're raised in the church you realize that we must forgive all things. If our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ could sacrifice so much so that we could be forgiven our sins--who are we to not forgive another?

I do understand this fully and yet, my memory is so vivid. It's the thing that feeds my gift as a writer. It also can be crippling when memory creeps back in to fan the hurt that is fueled by additional cruel words and deeds. It is something I'm grateful for in a way, because I'm constantly in touch with Heavenly Father.

I pray often and do feel comforted. It's a constant vigil, this process of protecting my spirit when dealing with this dear one. Without the constant companion of the Holy Ghost I would be lost. He helps me to have the words to help this person whom I love and not cause myself to be the one who strikes back with thier own cruel words adding to the cycle of abuse. I instead choose to rise above it all and be kind no matter what the cost. It's the least I can do for the good things I do find that this person has done for me in my lifetime.

If I look hard for the love in what they say these days, I can always find something good for the most part. I do think that the adversary would have it otherwise. That I should strike back and fight with them would give him so much pleasure. No good would be accomplished though. The person would never change and instead-- would shut themselves bitterly away from those who love them.

We are imperfect people here on earth. We are each in our own way, striving to know what path Heavenly Father wishes our feet to be set upon. Prayer is the link between Him and His children here. We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience. We all need to listen carefully to know which way to turn.

I do pray each day that my loved one will have a change of heart and turn to the One who loves them and knows them so intimately--our beloved Heavenly Father.

After writing this I've found such solace from my pain that kept me awake last night. I'm also reminded of the Hymn we sing, I know that my Redeemer lives. I have posted it below to share with you today. I hope it gives you comfort and fills you up with His love for you.

I am grateful for the knowledge that how I live my life is indeed a meaningful expression of my faith. I can change and grow regardless of my age or what I have been dealt with in life. I will continue to be prayerful and hopeful that my relationship with others will be an extension of that faith.

I testify of this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

“136: I Know That My Redeemer Lives,” Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, no. 136

Peacefully

1. I know that my Redeemer lives.
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
He lives, my ever-living Head.
He lives to bless me with his love.
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need.

2. He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.

3. He lives, my kind, wise heav’nly Friend.
He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives, and while he lives, I’ll sing.
He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.
He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives, and I shall conquer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare.
He lives to bring me safely there.

4. He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
“I know that my Redeemer lives!”
He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
“I know that my Redeemer lives!”

Text: Samuel Medley, 1738–1799. Included in the first LDS hymnbook, 1835.

Music: Lewis D. Edwards, 1858–1921

Job 19:25

Psalm 104:33–34

*LDS.org