I DID IT!

Hi Everyone! I'm here to tell you today how much I love my job and how filled with gratitude I am that my health has returned!

Yesterday I decided to try my oldest Goodwill find on....When I purchased these jeans, I'd noticed they had no give, no stretch fabric in them. Just good old fashioned denim. I remember thinking, "when you get into these pants, it will be the real size, it will take a while to get there Val."

Well, yesterday I got them over my hips! I thought, "NO WAY!" When I was a size 24+ I never thought I could lose this much weight. Now at nearly 70 lbs lost, I lay on my bed, buttoned those jeans and swiftly zipped them up! WOW! I did it! In about a week they will fit just perfect! Holy Cow! Is this even possible?

The best part of losing the weight is that I'm not in pain anymore. My joints aren't screaming for relief! I can take stairs two at a time. The most significant thing is, my edema is all but gone and my liver doesn't pain me in the middle of the night when I roll over any more. Just the memory of that pain keeps me moving forward. I pray each time I eat that I can continue to lose and get to my goal and be healthy. I ask for Fathers help in this, because I know I can't do this without his help.

I also pray that I can continue to help others do the same thing I"m doing. I'm sincere in my efforts to help them and I can't tell you what a blessing it is to be there for them.

Life is such a blessing these days. I used to do my best to help others. Now, I can physically help myself and my family. No more being an invalid. I've gotten a second chance at life and I"m embracing it with all my heart and spirit.

How am I doing this? Well, I'm a practitioner for Doc Stimulus Drops--homeopathic HCG drops! I help others do what I am doing. I help men and women lose weight every day with the aid of the drops and a low calorie diet. I know how it's done first hand. I feel what you're feeling each day. I love cheering others onto their personal goals. Send me a note if this is something you're ready for and I'll help you too! Invest in your health and in your future. The main thing is to be kind to yourself and continue to have hope and belief in that silver lining! I'll be there every stop of the way helping whenever I"m needed.

Look for my new website. It's being built and I'll post here when the grand unveiling will be. I'm so excited! Have a fantastic day everyone!

PS....Earn a free bottle of HCG by coming up with a new website name for me! here are some insight: It will be a place of healing, natural medicine and supplements, recipe's , inspirational creative writing , nutrition information, tips for staying on and being successful on a HCG diet, Tools for success and wellness, organic gardening and more.

Hope you all have a wonderful day. Never give up on your dreams and your goals--there is always a way. You can do hard things too. We all can!

"Give Me The Strength to Hold On Just a Little Longer"

There is always someone who needs us in this world. Anytime I'm hurting I ask Heavenly Father to send me someone I can help, so I can stop feeling sorry for myself and lighten my own burden. Without fail, He always comes through for me.

I love how He works miracles in our lives! The key is to recognize the miracle and go with it when it happens. Or perhaps go one step further and act on that knowledge and bless someones life and your own, by helping them out.

As I've been reading all the articles about Haiti, I'm blessed by the stories of fortitude, service, faith and the inner strength of the members of the LDS church. How I wish I could hug a sweet sister named Charles Marie Murielle. Her words and description of the quake and destruction touched me deeply. Most of all, the way she described the spirit and how calming it was when others were screaming and crying, comforted me in my own personal battle with pain.

Her words, as quoted by Meridianmagazine.com were as follows, "Give me the strength to old on." I had the spirit whisper to me, in addition to that, to add another quote by a great man of God President Dieter F. Uchtdorf-- "Hold on a little longer". I put them together for the title of this article. It was magic to my ears as I read it out loud! The spirit comforted me and gave me strength to keep going today. The reason? Today was a painful day for me. Now my spirit is a little lighter and willing to keep going. I'm grateful for this little miracle today.

I wish I could hug that sweet sister I quoted, bring her into my home and share everything I have with her and her family. I would if it were possible. I pray she is safe, and can be a nurse like she wants to so badly one day. What a comfort she is and will be for so many. I feel it's true.

I pray for the Saints and all the good people of Haiti-- to heal and have shelter, food and clothing. I pray for the volunteers to have strength and to hold on a little longer when they want to lay their heads down and sleep from exhaustion.

Heavenly Father is well pleased, when His children help each other and give of themselves unselfishly.

Sister Murielle, I wish you knew that you made a difference in my life today for the better. I'll be praying for you and your country, in the years to come. May God bless you and keep you safe.


**************************


After you read my blog entry, please go to the above link and read about our brothers and sisters in Haiti. Don't forget your Kleenex, you'll need it. Then read the following article talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. You won't be disappointed!

Elder Otis in Russia and Update On the Otis Family

"Dear Val!

Your child will arrive tomorrow morning.

So this visa trip will be finished at least. Don't worry.

Love,
Elya"

I've used Elya's nick name instead of her full name for privacy. Elya is my dear friend who works in my sons mission home in Russia. When we first met, I had no idea she worked in the mission home. She has been such a good, dear friend and I am thankful every day for her generosity and her words of comfort. The above was just one more kindness she passed onto me as a missionary mom and friend. Thanks so much Elya!

Yes, Elder Otis is back in Russia tonight! Thank you all for your prayers on his behalf. He is so excited to be able to finish his mission in Russia. He will miss the branch he was Branch President for though. He was there for 7 or 8 months and loves the people of those two cities he served in Russia.

He told me once that he knew he wasn't serving in that area to baptize new members, but to strengthen the Branch and the members who lived there. I think was very successful. He was able to teach them about Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching. They are very important to know in our church. They both help fellowship and strengthen the members and teach families each month.

I think the most wonderful contribution he made while he served there was to teach the members to love one another and fellowship the new members appropriately. I'm sure that they won't soon forget his kind hearted example and his love for each of them as individuals. I know he'll never forget his time serving there.

President Ezra Taft Benson described twelve ways in which we can overcome sorrow disappointment and depression. One of them was that "the fellowship of true friends who can hear you out, share your joys, help your burdens, and correctly counsel you is priceless...we should you seek to become the friend of our Father in heaven and our brothers and Jesus Christ." I know this is needed in Russia just like it is here at home in America.

Now Elder Matthew Otis is off to a new city! He is going to be a senior companion to a younger missionary. His name is Elder Dewey and the city they will be serving in is Kurgan. So, he's off on another adventure, and we are all so excited to hear about it on Monday morning.

Elder Jason Otis in Los Angeles is not being transferred like his brother. He will stay in Malibu and will be a District Leader and a trainer for a newly arriving Elder fresh out of the MTC! We fondly refer to them as "Greenie's". He is hoping to be a good example to this new Greenie on the block. I know he's gonna do just great!

Elder Otis continues to sing in all the wards he attends and has gained so much more confidence in his abilities. We can't wait to hear his angelic tones throughout our house again. Gosh we miss his music!

Our soon to be Elder Ryan Otis has now purchased his two suits! We took him shopping to Mens's Wearhouse the other day. Terry was healthy enough to go along with us and enjoyed watching Ryan looking so dapper. He really does clean up well:) What a handsome guy! He is really getting excited about January 7th when he'll be leaving for the Mission Training Center in Provo Utah. Wow! I still can't believe we'll have three sons serving the Lord at once!

Hunter our youngest will only be an only child for one full week before Matthew in Russia returns and he is absolutely elated! He says he never wants to be an only child. How funny!

Terry continues to improve! Today has to be the best day so far! He is up and around and working through the pain. Yesterday was the first day he didn't take a nap and he slept through the night for the first time. I am so glad he's doing so well.

We all cherish each other so much more since the accident. Life is good. Blessings continue to flow for our family. I am so grateful for the Tender Mercies of the Lord which we recognize daily.

All is well in the Otis household. I pray it is in your homes as well. Have a great day everyone!

Call Upon the Lord in Your Family Circles

"Do not forget to call upon the Lord in your family circles, dedicating yourselves and all you have to God every day of you lives; and seek to do right, and cultivate the spirit of union and love, and peace and blessing of the Living God will be with us, and He will lead us in the paths of life; and we shall be sustained and upheld by all the holy angels and the ancient patriarchs and men of God, and the veil will become thinner between us and our God, and we will approach nearer to him, and our souls will magnify the Lord of hosts." (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: John Taylor, p. 148-149).


Our family has been calling on the Lord so often the past month, and in the past few years it would seem. I think we've been learning to trust in the Lord even more fully, through the accident Terry was in . I was grateful to know how and that I had been praying more actively because of the mission experience our sons had been sharing with us all. To pray was the very first thing I thought of to do when I received the call from Tawnya saying he'd been hurt.

For our family it's been so natural to pray as a together, though I have to admit, it did take effort on our part . With varying schedules and levels of exhaustion with each individual it has not always been easy to do. We have made it a habit each morning and every night before we go to bed.

We do believe that a family that prays together, stays together. It was a blessing to have this in place when things got so difficult this month and we then were able laid our burdens at the Saviors feet without question. Relief has been a blessed outcome. Relief both spiritually and monitarily has come to us with such rich abundance. We are well cared for and all is well in the Otis household.

Our gratitude knows no bounds. As we kneel in prayer as a family and privately as individuals, we are filled with gratitude for our Savior and our Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost. Yes, as a Latter-day Saint I do believe that they are three separate and distinct individuals, but they are also one in purpose. I realize that modern day religious leaders have made many to believe this is not possible. If you are a scholar of the Bible, or not, pray before you read each day to know if what I say is true. You will know the truth of which I speak if you ask with pure intent-- wanting to know the truth. It is a promise in the Bible. James 1:5 says it all. I hope you'll look it up today.

An update on Terry: Terry is healing faster than I thought possible. He celebrated his 46th birthday yesterday! We took him to a local Mexican restaurant he likes. He wishes he was strong enough to return to work, but he still gets very tired and dizzy when he moves too fast. His arm still hurts and so do the backs of his legs. It hurts to sit very long and he can't drive great distances yet. Work is 45 minutes away. He is still hopeful that he can go back next week. Until then I'll be glad he's here at home and am taking good care of him. I've also been taking him to the chiropractor and soon to physical therapy. He has a full time job--one of healing.
Thank you all for your prayers on Terry's behalf. We have felt so loved and know your prayers are such a blessing.

Remember to pray for your loved ones today. Each day is a gift.

Two Letters and a Terry Update

Guest House in Sweden above
I tried without success to post our Elders letters on Monday due to the holiday and travel plans it didn't work out. So, here are this weeks letters and some photo's of our Elder in Sweden this week. Please pray that Russia will allow him to go back into the country. I hear that now all elders who (Swedish Temple Above)return are given even shorter visa's and must leave every 70 days now. I'm posting Elder Matthew Otis's letter first and then Elder Jason Otis's second. Enjoy!

"Hey Family,

Well, sorry I didn't write you guys yesterday, we kind of crashed after our flight over here. Then in the evening we had a fire side, so we didn't get our emailing done. And I'm pretty tired right now so I'll just write you a quick note, I can write periodically through the week, so I'm not in a big hurry. Well, I just want to say that this place is amazing. We are staying in the guest home, at least I think that's what it's called, and it is really nice. I'm sleeping on a good bed for the first time in....7 months and have access to washing machines, and dryers. But besides that, it's beautiful here. Sweden is a pretty amazing place. We won't be going out into the city until Monday, but the flight in and the train ride was great. Today we did service in the morning, I went around with a big gas powered leaf blower blowing leaves. Then we were in the temple until 5, I did two endowment sessions, the second one they did it in Russian for us missionaries. It was a pretty neat experience. It's really great going back to the temple after not having been to a session in over a year and a half, it was really refreshing.

So I'd like to tell you whats been going on over here for us missionaries. I guess there is a group here from Samara who has been here for almost three weeks, there has been problems getting visas renewed here and we don't exactly know whats going to happen. We are waiting on word from Moscow, and until then we are all stuck here. But it's not like it's bad here or anything, it's wonderful being here, but it's taking a lot away from our missions having so many missionaries here in Sweden. But, maybe this is all meant to be. We are getting so much temple work done. I guess after the Finland temple was built, this temple lost half of it's attendance, and having us missionaries here brought it back up to where it was, so the temple workers just love us. The Swedish people are so nice, most everyone can speak understandable English, so it's easy to get around. It's so weird leaving Russia and seeing how much better other countries are. Most of the times it's just little things that you take for granted, like customer service and drinkable tap water, but it just feels so much different here. Don't really know how to describe it, but there is a tangible difference. But we are just hoping we will be able to get back there quickly, so pray for us to get back into the game. I really wouldn't like to go to another country for the rest of my mission.

I'm glad that dad's surgery went well, glad to hear that he's doing good. Well, I'm just trying to soak up knowledge while I'm here, I won't have another opportunity like this for rest of my life I don't think. We get to regularly talk with the temple president in the temple and ask him any questions we have about the temple or just about anything. This is a great place, and I'm going to try and enjoy every minute of it.

Love,

Matt

Next is Elder Jason Otis's letter from Los Angeles.

"Heya!

I didn't write yesterday cuz it was Columbus day and all the libraries were closed. So that's my excuse, not sure about Matt. I don't think they have Columbus day in Russia ; )
You know, it's really funny how many people keep asking me how my dad is. It's nice to know that people love me! Heehaw. I think for all the people that are praying for dad, God would just heal him to get us to be quiet! HA! You're well taken care of Dad!
So other people mentioned that I bore my testimony? Must've been Elder Moake huh ; ) He's a good guy. Definitely one of the better missionaries here in L.A. It's still really funny to me that you have so many connections mom. If I ever poke fun at you for it just know that I'm actually quite impressed with you. You've done a lot of good for people in the last couple of years and I know the Lord is blessing you now for it. Dad too of course! Our whole family is experiencing the blessings that come from faithful service to the Lord. "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God". You have been serving God by serving others. That's what the Gospel is all about.
Things are heating up around here with the election coming up. Also things are pretty tense about the whole "Proposition 8" thing. That's the bill that will define marriage as between a man and a woman in the California constitution. All the members of the church here have been doing phone calls and knocking doors and handing out signs to support the proposition along with a coalition of other religions. The quorum of the 12 just gave all of California a fireside via satellite asking everyone to give at least 4 hours of work to this effort every week until the vote happens. By far our church has done more for this proposition than anyone else which is really cool. I wish I could help in some way but us missionaries are to stay out of it. In light of the present economy and the election and proposition 8 it seems like California is ripe for the 2nd Coming. ; ) Of course we know that's not going to happen quite yet but the scene is rather intense around here. And it's only going to get worse. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I will never live in California!!
Today I'm on "splits" with Elder Romrell here in Malibu. He's a greenie from Idaho Falls and is an awesome missionary. It's one of my duties as a district leader to go on "splits" once a transfer with every Elder in my district. While doing so I observe the missionary and give feedback at the end of the day. It's always a fun experience. Today we're going to do some tracting up in the Palisades near Malibu. I love driving around in the hills! We also have dinner Scheduled with Rick Schroder finally. He just got back into town from wherever he was filming some movie. I also got to meet Micheal Mclean and his wife at church this Sunday. He's been in Utah at his other home in Ogden for the summer. It's definitely interesting serving in this area.
Anyway I just thought I'd give you some random facts about life recently. I'm having a good time and I'm glad everything is going well over there. By the way mom, did you mean 10,000 dollars or 100,000 dollars in regards to the insurance. You wrote 100,000 and that kinda boggled my mind. That would be a lot of money ; )
Give my regards to everybody! The last email I wrote I sent to everybody who's email address I had.
Just to let you know, I WILL NOT BE TRUNKY TILL THE DAY I SET FOOT ON THAT AIRPLANE! That's a fact! ; ) I may think of home but I just don't get homesick. I think this whole email thing helps with that a lot. That and the fact that I'm still in a fairly familiar place. Life is good as it always is.
I love you all! Ryan I keep meaning to send you a letter that I wrote a while ago. You'll get it eventually. Hunter I'm about to send you an email with some info I've got for you. Some good music that I heard on the Promenade the other day. I think you'll really like it.
Have a great week all! Keep on healing dad! I'm glad to hear the surgery went well. I knew it would. Love ya! Buh Bye!!!!!!!

Elder Jason E. Otis
District leader
District 2
Marina Zone
California Los Angeles Mission
Rockin' the coast!!!!!!!!

Update on Terry......

Terry had his surgery on Monday. It was really tough on him. He was in so much pain it broke my heart. It took us a good 24 hours to get the pain under control. His hand was broken in four places as it turns out, instead of two. So there was a large incision where the doctor had to open him up and there is now three screws holding the blood bearing bone together. After his first follow up apt next week he will have a tens unit hooked up to him. It's an electric stimulator to help his bone heal faster. I keep praying insurance will pay for this as well.
His surgery was on Monday and today it's Wednesday and he is doing really great! His pain is still under control and he sleeps often. He is able to do a lot more things for himself and his headaches are now gone from the concussion. His chest still hurts from the broken sternum. His liver is giving him some problems now and we have to do a repeat blood test on Friday to see what is going on. It does worry me, but I've put it all in the Lords hands and all seems to be improving due to all the prayers going up on his behalf and we are so thankful. Terry heals fast and I can see him returning to work in a couple of weeks time. Another blessing.

We feel so loved by family, neighbors and church family and friends. So many people love this dear man and that includes myself and his boys. My world would be a different place without him in my life, that's for sure. But I also know he would be cheering for me from the other side if things had turned out differently. He's jsut that kind of guy.

Thank you all so much for your love and support. Thank you for keeping our missionaries in your prayers too.

Hugs!
Valora

A Branch President in the Family!

Every Monday morning I look forward to opening my e-mail. You see, Monday is P-day for my sons on missions. Matt in Russia and Jason in Spanish speaking Los Angeles write home each week.

The adventure of the week is almost always Matthew's in Russia! This week was no different. I clicked open the e-mail and saw the photo and gasped! Matt had an ugly purple welt and gash on his forehead. He had been playing capture the flag in the forest with all the other Elders and had tripped and fallen and hit his head. Thank goodness it wasn't any worse than it was. We want him to stay out of the Russian hospitals at all costs. I'm sure there are good ones there somewhere, but the one he described at the beginning of his mission was a nightmare. So I'm happy he's alright now. He said it didn't bleed for long--though the Russians were freaking out and wanted to take him to the hospital. They put their iodine on his forehead. I think it's either green or blue and stained his skin. How funny! He said he just told people that he had gotten hit in the head by a beer bottle. What a kidder! Needless to say he got a lot of attention and had fun with it.

I guess Estonia is closed to the missionaries now. They have to go out of the country to renew their visa's every three months. Now, they will go to the Czech Republic. Read below...

Matthew is now the Branch President of his little congregation. It makes me smile! You know, the mom in me being so pleased coming out:) If you aren't LDS, a Branch President is a Pastor. He has been trained well by Elder Later his previous companion. I know Matthew will miss Elder Later so much. He and Matt are dear friends now. Elder Later is either on his way home or transferred. I'll have to ask his mom. I'm going to try and include some photo's here today. I've never done this before, hope it comes out okay. Until then, here is part of Elder Matthew Otis's letter.

"I just got transfers, I'm the new branch president, and Elder Isenbarger is going to be my new companion. I don't know him but I hear he's great! Elder Magelby is coming to Revda, I hear that he is also really great, so our district should be fun next transfer. It's crazy that I've already been in this area for 3 months. It's gone by really fast, doing branch work really passes the time. Also next transfer I will be going on another visa trip. And I've hear that Estonia has closed it's borders to us missionaries, so now we are going to Prauge, Czech Republic. I hear that it's a really amazing city, so that should be fun. Hmmm....I always forget what I want to write about, I guess thats all I've got then. Keep on going. I'm praying for you, and I know that you're praying for me. Things are going good, and I know that they will only continue to get better if we have faith and try and look at the big picture. I'm glad that our family is really optimistic. I've had a good amount of experience here with people who whine about everything, and its funny because it doesn't help them one bit, in fact it makes things worse. It's just sad, we really do need to live by faith and not by fear, everything just works out so much better. Well, I hope you have a good week, happy fathers day dad!!! Catch a lot of fish and keep sending me pictures(small ones plz!!), i'd love to see them.

Love,

Matt"

For those moms and dads who don't think your making a difference in your child's life. I challenge you to think again. Your life may be easy or even difficult. It's the way you handle the hills and valleys in life's tangled web that matters to these kids. Show them you can overcome the obsticals when do come. Show them by example that you will stay faithful while going through heartbreak and tragedy. Rise above all that life brings. Then when they go out into the world on their own, hope and light and faith will be the greatest gift you ever passed onto them. Be a blessing to your children.

Those Who Need Our Prayers

I recently asked my missionary moms group to pray for me this weekend. You see our church has set one Sunday a month aside for a Fast and Testimony Meeting. The entire LDS church fasts for 2 meals (if they choose) and prays for specific needs of those we know and love and for ourselves if needed. The funds that we save from the two meals we do not partake of, are given to the fast offering fund in the church. Those funds are then in turn used to feed others in our church and outside of our church. It is an amazing welfare system world wide.

The benefits of fasting while praying for myself have lead to a deeper understanding of what I need to do in situations I have taken to the Lord. I become more aware of the Holy Ghost as well.

This week I'm looking for answers to my health problems. I have edema. The doctors are scratching their heads. They have tried everything to get this under control--and so have I. So, I've asked my friends to fast and pray for me this Fast Sunday on the first Sunday of the month. I'm so grateful for the prayers being offered on my behalf.

There is also a girl named Rachel that needs our prayers. Her mother has asked us to pray for her as well. Rachel was found taking drugs a year ago by her brother. He told his parents and Rachel has now been clean of drugs, including cocaine for an entire year! I'm so excited for this young girl to have a new start in life. The one difficulty is that she has forgotten her testimony of Jesus Christ due to the drugs. Her family has asked that we remember her in our prayers so that her mind can remember what her soul surely hasn't forgotten. Pray for Rachel and tell your friends to pray for her as well. Bless you for your efforts on her behalf.

In this time of uncertainty in our nation and throughout the world, there is one thing that never changes. That is our love and devotion for our beloved Heavenly Father and in his son Jesus Christ. I am eternally grateful for the love that I feel from them. For the prayers that are answered too.

Recently our son was hurt. He had been riding on the trunk of a car across the parking lot to get to his friends car to come home. The girl that gave them the ride suddenly sped up and my son was thrown from the car. He ended up with a gash in the palm of his hand a bloody hip, ankle and elbow. He was brought home to me, bleeding and in so much pain. This kid has a very high pain tolerance. I was on the phone with a friend when he arrived and had to hang up abruptly. Then I received a call from my husbands Aunt in Ohio right at that second and she was able to walk me through the first aid for his abrasions and lacerations. I was so grateful for the perfect timing involved. Then my Relief Society President called and I calmed down further. I had to say out loud that I was thankful for all the help, and that I was sure someone else could use the help now. Smile. I felt so loved in those moments. Like someone had wrapped their arms around me telling me that all would be well. My husband arrived and took Hunter to the ER. He is fine now and very repentant.

I guess I'm writing this for a few reasons today. One is that we should give of ourselves and our means to help those less fortunate. People are hurting financially and children are going hungry. We need to help when we can. I'm planning a garden and want to give some of our produce to the local food shelf. I know it's not much, but we do what we can to help others.

Another thing is that we need to be aware of those who need our prayers.

Lastly I want moms especially to ask their teens if they are in fact riding on the outside of cars. Specifically in school parking lots. A friend in Florida told me that she knew of a boy who was killed recently, doing what my son was injured doing. Please speak to your teens and tell them what can happen to them. Tell them that doctors ask questions and your car insurance WILL be involved and so will the insurance of the person who was driving. If you can't scare them with the physical outcome of such foolishness, do tell them about the monetary and social outcome. It might save their life. Hunter was horrified to see his life flash before him as he was thrown from the vehicle and flew through the air like a rag doll. He is so lucky to not have broken bones and the doctor told him all that he has seen to set him straight as well. He has told all his friends not to be stupid and to learn from his experience. Kids have influence in their own circle of friends.

Be safe, be prayerful and have a wonderful day!

He Lives To Calm My Troubled Heart

Have you ever had someone in your life that was thoughtless or hurtful on a regular basis? Have you tried to resolve the underlying problem only to find that it really wasn't about you, but about their unresolved issues with their own past? Some people allow their past pain to shape their future without knowing it.

I do have someone in my life like this. I've had to forgive them many times over through the years. On the surface I've been able to act like nothing bothers me. I do let them know as the spirit dictates, when I don't agree with them or find a way to turn them around from their negative thinking.

I've shown my kids that I indeed, can forgive--rising above my hurt and pain. I want to show them a better example, so that they can have healthier relationships with their loved ones.

My dreams seem to haunt me though and thoughts pop up from time to time that I shove down deep to deal with later. I almost have to pray them away just to be free of them. Sometimes I don't seem to be able to bring myself to call them as often as I should because of the mean spirited words they say each time we have a conversation. Who would want to talk to them?

When you're raised in the church you realize that we must forgive all things. If our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ could sacrifice so much so that we could be forgiven our sins--who are we to not forgive another?

I do understand this fully and yet, my memory is so vivid. It's the thing that feeds my gift as a writer. It also can be crippling when memory creeps back in to fan the hurt that is fueled by additional cruel words and deeds. It is something I'm grateful for in a way, because I'm constantly in touch with Heavenly Father.

I pray often and do feel comforted. It's a constant vigil, this process of protecting my spirit when dealing with this dear one. Without the constant companion of the Holy Ghost I would be lost. He helps me to have the words to help this person whom I love and not cause myself to be the one who strikes back with thier own cruel words adding to the cycle of abuse. I instead choose to rise above it all and be kind no matter what the cost. It's the least I can do for the good things I do find that this person has done for me in my lifetime.

If I look hard for the love in what they say these days, I can always find something good for the most part. I do think that the adversary would have it otherwise. That I should strike back and fight with them would give him so much pleasure. No good would be accomplished though. The person would never change and instead-- would shut themselves bitterly away from those who love them.

We are imperfect people here on earth. We are each in our own way, striving to know what path Heavenly Father wishes our feet to be set upon. Prayer is the link between Him and His children here. We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience. We all need to listen carefully to know which way to turn.

I do pray each day that my loved one will have a change of heart and turn to the One who loves them and knows them so intimately--our beloved Heavenly Father.

After writing this I've found such solace from my pain that kept me awake last night. I'm also reminded of the Hymn we sing, I know that my Redeemer lives. I have posted it below to share with you today. I hope it gives you comfort and fills you up with His love for you.

I am grateful for the knowledge that how I live my life is indeed a meaningful expression of my faith. I can change and grow regardless of my age or what I have been dealt with in life. I will continue to be prayerful and hopeful that my relationship with others will be an extension of that faith.

I testify of this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

“136: I Know That My Redeemer Lives,” Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, no. 136

Peacefully

1. I know that my Redeemer lives.
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
He lives, my ever-living Head.
He lives to bless me with his love.
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need.

2. He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.

3. He lives, my kind, wise heav’nly Friend.
He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives, and while he lives, I’ll sing.
He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.
He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives, and I shall conquer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare.
He lives to bring me safely there.

4. He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
“I know that my Redeemer lives!”
He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
“I know that my Redeemer lives!”

Text: Samuel Medley, 1738–1799. Included in the first LDS hymnbook, 1835.

Music: Lewis D. Edwards, 1858–1921

Job 19:25

Psalm 104:33–34

*LDS.org

The no good, very bad, horrible rotten DAY!

Have you ever had a day that just seemed without end? Today as I sat in my minivan with my hazard blinkers on looking out across the snow topped prairie and wished this day was already over. Yeah, I know, kind of odd for this sunny person, right? I have bad days too don't ya know.

For me the day began at around 2 am when I could no longer stand the togetherness in my own bed. You see the bed had broken and not being newlyweds we were suddenly sleeping in the valley that had once been our pillow top luxury bed. Funny how something that would have been so delightful at 20 seems like agony at 42. Guess I'm getting old my friends. Grin...Later this morning I had hoped to go mattress shopping after dropping my son off at work. Instead I was sitting in my van after it had broken down on the side of the road.

So now, I not only had a broken bed I was now the proud owner of a broken down mini van. I wasn't surprised either. Things like this just seem to happen to us. If you go to this link, http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article-level1-previous.php?id=6812 -- you will find out how prayers were answered a few years back on another road in the Mid West. Please keep in mind that it is one of my earlier pieces.

Personally I think the adversary likes try to trip us up when we are doing good things for others--and I'd been doing my fair share of that recently. He likes to bruise our heels because that's all he's allowed to do. We can fling off the offending stumbling blocks and keep our eye on the prize so to speak--if we are willing. Otherwise we can sit there wallowing in self pity. Although tempting at this moment for me, I decided to quit tearing up and say a prayer. When I finally realized that I was close enough to walk to a modular homes sales place down the road, I was relieved! Help was close by.

Later, sitting in the warmth of the modular homes sales shop while I waited for my friend to come and help me. The phone I had just used to call my friend, failed to work for the owner. The lady glared at me like I had broke it on purpose! I swear I could read her mind. Ugh!

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess my little black cloud followed me in. Sorry." What was I supposed to say? Hello, my bad luck just broke it, at least it wasn't your car?

She continued to punch in numbers and jiggle cords. I had to suppress a giggle. Finally my sense of humor had returned. Thank goodness!

My friends came and scooped me up. They were a comfort to me. Skip got into my van, the engine had worked but it just wouldn't move forward or backward. Now it crept forward at about 15 mph. So Tanya and I put on our hazard lights and followed on the shoulder behind him. It was a very long drive. My emotions were raw and very close to the surface as I wondered how we were going to pay for the repairs.

Mile by mile my spirits lifted somehow. This was my secret...

I started thinking about all the good things that blessed my life each day. I had a roof over my head and four awesome sons. My husband was dear to me and had a terrific job and medical care now. I knew without a doubt that my days troubles were small in the grand scheme of things. I'd been through much worse I reminded myself. The sun was out, and in Minnesota that was a GOOD thing! It was the first time in months that the temperature had hit 49 degrees! Most of all, I knew I was loved by Heavenly Father. I would do my best with this situation and he would make up the difference.

As I watched Skip pull into our driveway ahead of us. I was so relieved that he was actually able to drive it home! I thanked them both for coming to my rescue.

As I walked into my home the first thing I saw a picture of my Savior on the wall. Just seeing Him on the wall, my personal Savior and Redeemer--eased my spirit. It's interesting how something familiar can sooth your worries. I sat on the couch and prayed. I felt my burden lifted in those moments.

I'm okay now. I know that all will be well in time. Sometimes we just have to ride out the hard times and keep on going--enduring to the end. I've learned that after the trial of our faith comes the blessings too. I don't think this situation is any different, just a bump in the road in the grand scheme of things.

Now, it's time to sit in front of my living room window with the sun beam on my face and pretend I'm in the Bahamas! Life is good in this moment.