Last week we arrived home from a whirlwind trip to Utah. It was a turning point in my life. You see when we left Minnesota, we had placed many things for sale on Craigslist.com . Things like the Suburban parts from our wrecked truck and some new tires. The thing I wanted gone the most of course was still staring at me.....my old blue scooter. I had that in place of a wheelchair several years ago when I suffered through a time with left side paralysis. That scooter represented bondage and freedom combined, during a period I often remember as a enormous stepping stone in my life.
I remember that time vividly. It's the only reason I pushed myself to become a writer. I remember laying there, feeling sorry for myself day after day and finally, I asked God what I was going to do with my life if the numbness didn't get better.
The answer came swift and clear, "Get out your scriptures and start reading, the answers will come." What do you say to an answer like that. Well, I did what I was told to do. As I turned the pages with my right good hand, I found scripture after scripture that had to do with Gifts and Talents! Surprisingly many of them told me what would happen to me if I didn't use my gifts and talents God had given me.....it gave me food for thought for sure. It made my mind turn to what I had wanted to be when I grew up when I was a girl.
I had wanted to be a marine biologist at first. Until I realized I had no talent or love for math. Although when I was a sophomore, I'd taken a research class and had written about farming the ocean---aquaculture. The teacher had been angry that I was taking a Senior class. The final grade she'd given me was a B+....and the writing on the page said, "Good for a Sophomore!" It was the highest grade she would allow me to have due to my age.
Surprisingly, I gave up marine biology, not the dream of becoming a writer! I had just neatly tucked it away for later dreaming--or in this case action. Now as I lay there in my sick bed I prayed for inspiration to grab hold, and it did! As the prayer ended, more answers to my prayers flowed into my damaged brain. I couldn't believe it! I still wanted to write! I knew I'd find a way to work on becoming a writer or author or whatever they called it nowadays-- and do my utmost to make it happen.
I was filled with hope as I went on the internet and started searching. I found a website for Christians who wanted to learn to write in a good Christian environment. It spoke to me like nothing else on the web. I was a little fearful. I know that many people don't consider Latter-day Saints to be Christians. I'd felt the sting of persecution many many times in my life since joining our church. Still, if the site lived up to it's promise, I'd be welcomed. I was for about 2.5 years as it turns out. Even though in the end I was run out on a rail so to speak, being curse as a demon, those who knew and loved me knew I wasn't. I was a Christian a Latter-day Saint and I was an honest writer who's skills grew with each piece she wrote. So I had to leave. I'd overstayed my welcome.
I have so many people all over the world, to thank for blessing me with their friendship during that time in my life. They prayed for me and corrected my grammar. I was given hope and friendship and felt so loved by my Savior Jesus Christ. Even though I left the site heartbroken and bruised, it was worth it. Every minute I learned and grew and stretched myself helped me in both mind, body and spirit to heal. In the end I was walking, thinking, moving, keyboarding, feeling and setting goals in my life and for publication.
The best part of all, I was walking again.
This week my old blue scooter went to a new home. I hope they feel the freedom I felt the first time I was helped into it. We went for a walk as a family. I passed them all up and let out a squeal as I felt the freedom of speed and the wind in my hair once again!
I remember that time vividly. It's the only reason I pushed myself to become a writer. I remember laying there, feeling sorry for myself day after day and finally, I asked God what I was going to do with my life if the numbness didn't get better.
The answer came swift and clear, "Get out your scriptures and start reading, the answers will come." What do you say to an answer like that. Well, I did what I was told to do. As I turned the pages with my right good hand, I found scripture after scripture that had to do with Gifts and Talents! Surprisingly many of them told me what would happen to me if I didn't use my gifts and talents God had given me.....it gave me food for thought for sure. It made my mind turn to what I had wanted to be when I grew up when I was a girl.
I had wanted to be a marine biologist at first. Until I realized I had no talent or love for math. Although when I was a sophomore, I'd taken a research class and had written about farming the ocean---aquaculture. The teacher had been angry that I was taking a Senior class. The final grade she'd given me was a B+....and the writing on the page said, "Good for a Sophomore!" It was the highest grade she would allow me to have due to my age.
Surprisingly, I gave up marine biology, not the dream of becoming a writer! I had just neatly tucked it away for later dreaming--or in this case action. Now as I lay there in my sick bed I prayed for inspiration to grab hold, and it did! As the prayer ended, more answers to my prayers flowed into my damaged brain. I couldn't believe it! I still wanted to write! I knew I'd find a way to work on becoming a writer or author or whatever they called it nowadays-- and do my utmost to make it happen.
I was filled with hope as I went on the internet and started searching. I found a website for Christians who wanted to learn to write in a good Christian environment. It spoke to me like nothing else on the web. I was a little fearful. I know that many people don't consider Latter-day Saints to be Christians. I'd felt the sting of persecution many many times in my life since joining our church. Still, if the site lived up to it's promise, I'd be welcomed. I was for about 2.5 years as it turns out. Even though in the end I was run out on a rail so to speak, being curse as a demon, those who knew and loved me knew I wasn't. I was a Christian a Latter-day Saint and I was an honest writer who's skills grew with each piece she wrote. So I had to leave. I'd overstayed my welcome.
I have so many people all over the world, to thank for blessing me with their friendship during that time in my life. They prayed for me and corrected my grammar. I was given hope and friendship and felt so loved by my Savior Jesus Christ. Even though I left the site heartbroken and bruised, it was worth it. Every minute I learned and grew and stretched myself helped me in both mind, body and spirit to heal. In the end I was walking, thinking, moving, keyboarding, feeling and setting goals in my life and for publication.
The best part of all, I was walking again.
This week my old blue scooter went to a new home. I hope they feel the freedom I felt the first time I was helped into it. We went for a walk as a family. I passed them all up and let out a squeal as I felt the freedom of speed and the wind in my hair once again!
It is always about the Silver Lining for this Latter-day Saint woman, even in that moment so long ago...
1 comment:
Valora, Would you email me and tell me how you do the HCG diet. My friend Leslie who told me about you, said you do it different and can stay on the drops until you've lost all your weight. I am very interested. Thanks,
maryannlovesrod@aol.com
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