Freedom from Bondage via Scooter

Last week we arrived home from a whirlwind trip to Utah. It was a turning point in my life. You see when we left Minnesota, we had placed many things for sale on Craigslist.com . Things like the Suburban parts from our wrecked truck and some new tires. The thing I wanted gone the most of course was still staring at me.....my old blue scooter. I had that in place of a wheelchair several years ago when I suffered through a time with left side paralysis. That scooter represented bondage and freedom combined, during a period I often remember as a enormous stepping stone in my life.

I remember that time vividly. It's the only reason I pushed myself to become a writer. I remember laying there, feeling sorry for myself day after day and finally, I asked God what I was going to do with my life if the numbness didn't get better.

The answer came swift and clear, "Get out your scriptures and start reading, the answers will come." What do you say to an answer like that. Well, I did what I was told to do. As I turned the pages with my right good hand, I found scripture after scripture that had to do with Gifts and Talents! Surprisingly many of them told me what would happen to me if I didn't use my gifts and talents God had given me.....it gave me food for thought for sure. It made my mind turn to what I had wanted to be when I grew up when I was a girl.

I had wanted to be a marine biologist at first. Until I realized I had no talent or love for math. Although when I was a sophomore, I'd taken a research class and had written about farming the ocean---aquaculture. The teacher had been angry that I was taking a Senior class. The final grade she'd given me was a B+....and the writing on the page said, "Good for a Sophomore!" It was the highest grade she would allow me to have due to my age.

Surprisingly, I gave up marine biology, not the dream of becoming a writer! I had just neatly tucked it away for later dreaming--or in this case action. Now as I lay there in my sick bed I prayed for inspiration to grab hold, and it did! As the prayer ended, more answers to my prayers flowed into my damaged brain. I couldn't believe it! I still wanted to write! I knew I'd find a way to work on becoming a writer or author or whatever they called it nowadays-- and do my utmost to make it happen.

I was filled with hope as I went on the internet and started searching. I found a website for Christians who wanted to learn to write in a good Christian environment. It spoke to me like nothing else on the web. I was a little fearful. I know that many people don't consider Latter-day Saints to be Christians. I'd felt the sting of persecution many many times in my life since joining our church. Still, if the site lived up to it's promise, I'd be welcomed. I was for about 2.5 years as it turns out. Even though in the end I was run out on a rail so to speak, being curse as a demon, those who knew and loved me knew I wasn't. I was a Christian a Latter-day Saint and I was an honest writer who's skills grew with each piece she wrote. So I had to leave. I'd overstayed my welcome.

I have so many people all over the world, to thank for blessing me with their friendship during that time in my life. They prayed for me and corrected my grammar. I was given hope and friendship and felt so loved by my Savior Jesus Christ. Even though I left the site heartbroken and bruised, it was worth it. Every minute I learned and grew and stretched myself helped me in both mind, body and spirit to heal. In the end I was walking, thinking, moving, keyboarding, feeling and setting goals in my life and for publication.

The best part of all, I was walking again.

This week my old blue scooter went to a new home. I hope they feel the freedom I felt the first time I was helped into it. We went for a walk as a family. I passed them all up and let out a squeal as I felt the freedom of speed and the wind in my hair once again!

It is always about the Silver Lining for this Latter-day Saint woman, even in that moment so long ago...

I'm Five Days In--and I'm going to WIN!

Well, I've joined the ranks of the starving dieters....yep, I'm trying to lose weight! I had no idea how tough the first few days would be. So from here on out you are going to need to cheer me on. I'm five days in and I'm going to win!

A few months ago I was told that if I didn't lose the weight and cut back my fat intake drastically, I would end up with cirrhosis of the liver! I had been ill for over a year and had finally gone to a kidney specialist to rule out kidney disease. He was the one that finally diagnosed the problem. He was horrified to find in my chart that my family practitioner had known about this condition six month previous and had not given me any instruction. Insert more horror here!

I quickly changed family docs and found an internal medicine doctor/sleep doc. She had a long waiting list in years past, and I had not been able to get in with her. Now she had openings! She was amazing! We got started on a low fat diet right away. I found out that I had been striving for this for quite some time, but had kept going back to the cream soups and hot dishes I loved. Bad girl!

I had done one thing very right, I'd been organic gardening for years. Probably saved my life too! I had to eliminate all chemicals and additives and preservatives from my daily diet.

I got rid of the nasty habit of drinking diet mountain dew! Yes, my name is Valora and I'm a Dew Head! Ha! Years ago a doctor had told me to drink something with caffeine in it to combat migraine headaches. Great doc eh? That had to be the hardest hurdle for me to get past. I did it! Check that off my list!

In the midst of all of this enlightening news and information, I thought I was having a heart attack...well the doctor did. She had talked me into taking blood pressure medicine. An Ace inhibitor and chased that with a flu shot! I reacted badly to both! I was hospitalized and stuck and probed for the next 24 hours! All because I was scared and went against all the spirit told me to do and took that shot and med! Never again! Now 500 dollars poorer from co-pays, I was back on track!

A few days later my new doc told me that I'd be a good candidate for natural medicine. Oh really? They won't be giving me either meds ever again. Whew!

On the advice of a herbal medicine doctor, that I now admire greatly, he suggested I move from Dew to Sobe energy drinks and then off of them all completely. It worked! The ingredients in Sobe are less harsh and more natural. No one with a heart condition or other health conditions should go off of caffeine cold turkey. Or off of artificial sweeteners either. Wean yourself off slowly--but do it asap! If you are healthy, go for it and take Tylenol for that awful headache you'll get. But do get off of the horrid stuff!

The human body doesn't need caffeine. It's really bad for your health. Your liver can't take it over time! Boy did I find out the hard way.

Hey! I don't drink alcohol and they said that If I didn't eliminate the trans fats from my diet and get rid of the caffeine, I was going to develop cirrhosis of the liver--like a bad alcoholic! Why don't nutritionists tell you these things? I'd seen a few over the years. Not one that I'd ever paid good money to see, had brought up the possibility!

I realized quickly that weight was the main issue causing all my health problems. My sleep apnea had brought it on slowly over time. Now that I was sleeping, my mind was alerted to the fact that I was not going to live long with the fatty liver or enlarged heart and I felt like I was sinking into fat quicksand!

"Oh help!" I cried out loud as I thought of all the things in life I would miss! I lost a lot of sleep over this whole thing and prayed day and night for answers. How was I going to do this?

The answer was simple. Find a way to lose the weight quickly and safely. The faster I lost weight, the quicker I could regain my health and do all those things in life I was meant to do.

After much prayer, I found Laurence, the master herbalist. He's a deeply spiritual man and a member of our church in Idaho. I found him through a missionary mom friend that I trusted and I wasn't disappointed. He told me like it is. Straight talk with a punch. He hit me up on the whole caffeine thing. Oh boy! Satan didn't want me to give it up. Satan kept telling me I couldn't live without it. Now, that made me hopping mad! I hadn't thought of it that way. Now that I did, I couldn't go back.

Moving forward and fighting this fight to lose weight and live became all consuming. I'm a believer in Jesus Christ after all. He is supposed to be the center of my life. The one thing I've never been in all my life is a hypocrite! So I had to re-evaluate where I was at in my life. I turned it around quickly!

So, now I"m on this journey with the HCG diet and later the zone diet to maintain that which I've lost. I pray hourly sometimes. I am struggling, but writing all of this down has given me renewed strength. Today is a new day and I'm praying for strength. I have a healthy sense of humor as I try to enjoy my new found sense of self. I have a very strong testimony in the fact that God does know us and He wants me to live.

Cheer me on as I get healthy and re-claim my life. I am filled with gratitude in the knowledge that it is not too late and that our beloved Heavenly Father will be here for me in my hour of need! How I love Him! I can win this battle.

Cherished Dimples in Time...

I can't believe it's been nearly a full month since I last posted an article here. Our lives have been full this past month with the arrival of our son Matthew-- fresh from the mission field.

It was an amazing experience welcoming an adult child home from the mission field in Russia.

One of the things I puzzled over before he arrived, was a sadness I felt when I realized that I was reading his very last e-mail before he left for home. It might sound strange to you as a reader that I would feel that way, so allow me to explain...

For two full years we have only had one e-mail a week from our son in Russia. They have a P-day where they take care of personal things such as laundry, grocery shopping, a group activity and letter writing and e-mailing home. We anticipated that letter each and every week with thanksgiving and excitement as we turned on the computer. Often we read about adventures and near accidents and joy. Other days about uplifting spiritual experiences only found while helping and teaching other children of God and giving compassionate service to the sick, the old and the lost souls they found. There were times of personal sorrow and illness where we were able to pray fervently for our sons and encourage and uplift them as well.

Following my husbands accident, I was able to keep our sons updated on Terry's progress and I know both our missionary sons were grateful for those letters and anticipated more news each week about his recovery. I tried my very best to do so in a way that wouldn't overly worry them and found that I became more positive and hopeful myself for the experience.

Over time I prayed more, studied more and gained a deeper perspective of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I learned about myself as a mother and how deeply indeed I loved my sweet sons.

I became mindful of how our Heavenly Father listens to and answers our prayers. Miracles came our way as a family before, during and after Terry's accident and I recognized those miracles for what they were...

I cannot help but think that our sons willingness to serve allowed me to grow to a depth I knew I wouldn't have found, had they chosen not to serve. Their service was far reaching into lives of so many and I'm forever grateful for their personal sacrifice of two full years of their lives.

It's amazing how simple obedience to a promise to write home to mom and dad each week, caused so much growth in us all. We pray more, we write more, we study with more dilegence than we did two years ago. We ponder deeper meaning in our lives and in our faith. It has brought extended family closer as we pray for our sons well being and success in finding souls to bring to Christ. Some of those might have been so lost, had it not been for the prayers said on their behalf.

Missing a weekly e-mail now for me has been replaced with something even better this month. I'm blessed to sit face to face with a young man, my son, who is now a grown man. We've spent hours catching up on all the things we didn't write about in our letters to each other. I've cherished every moment, gotten to know the man who's face has changed in subtle ways. Gone are soft plains of youth I knew so well. Although the cherished dimples I so love, remain the same. Thank goodness!

The quiet wisdom he gained in two years of full time service as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, set well on my sons shoulders. I'm excited to see what is in store for this quiet man of faith in the years to come. Soon I'll be doing this all over again when his elder brother, Jason, comes home in three weeks. Oh how how I revel in the love I have for all my children. What a blessing it has been to cherish each of them for so long. My life is so full and so rich. I'm so grateful to a Heavenly Father who gave me so many cherished memories of their youth and future so full of hope and love. It's an amazing feeling!

Next post I'll write about his homecoming and post the photo's after I've gathered them from relatives. Have a great day everyone. Take time to hug those kids tight! They grow up far too fast and it's important to take advantage of each moment. I know this mom is so glad she did. Dimples aren't the only things I've cherished. I thank Heavenly Father daily that their lives have been my blessings.

Push Against the Rock!

Christmas was interesting in our home this year. We all ended up catching the bug that was going around. Not a single gift was purchased until Christmas Eve day. It's amazing what you can get done under pressure. All the gifts were purchased quickly and the food as well after a trip to three different stores in a few short hours. I've learned, less is really more these days.

I have learned over the past few years to simplify my life. To be thankful for the little things and be surprised by the gifts life brings. I am so glad I have learned this well. We all need to embrace our trials and hardships and look at what we can learn from them and how we can become better people as we struggle. When you can do no more, Heavenly Father opens a widow and lets the sun warm our hearts again. He is always there for each of us, we just have to remember to include Him in our daily life.

Yesterday our son Ryan gave his farewell talk in church. He leaves next week for the Mission Training Center in Provo Utah and later to Everett Washington. He is so ready to serve the Lord. I am so pleased with the young man he has become. His inner strength is a testiment that each of us can press forward and accomplish anything with the Lords help.

Up until a few weeks ago he was terrified of leaving us and not seeing his brothers for four years. Their two year missions overlap and he is leaving as they are coming home. I was at a loss of how to help him overcome his fears until our missionaries calls home at Christmas. They had all the answers to calm his fears. Elder Otis in Russia simply told him that we give such a small part of our lives to the Lord full time when we serve missions. We will have all eternity together as a family. His brother in Los Angeles said much the same and now he's ready. So simple, but so important were the words of those who he trusted and could identify with.

I'm posting the following story that Ryan related during his farewell talk at the pulpit. I have no idea who wrote it but it's amazing. I hope you enjoy it too.

"Push against the Rock!"

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with bright light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man He had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. This, the man did, day after day.

For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down with his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, the Adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's weary mind: "You've been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't budged. Why kill yourself over this? You're never going to move it" -thus, giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

"Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that'll be good enough." And that's just what he planned to do- until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord" he said, "I've labored long and hard in Your service, putting all my strength to do that which You've asked. Yet, after all this time, I haven't even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What's wrong? Why am I failing?"

The Lord responded compassionately,

"My friend, when I asked you to serve Me- you accepted. I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength- which you've done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me- with your strength spent, thinking that you've failed. But is that really so?"
"Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscular. Your back sinew is mighty. Your hands are callused from the constant pressure;and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you've grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you've done. I, my friend, will now move the rock."
At times, when we hear from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants. What God ACTUALLY wants is just simple OBEDIENCE and FAITH IN HIM. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it's still God who moves the mountains.

Ryan felt like he'd been pushing against the rock for a long time--not fully understanding why he was doing so. Now, through his faith in Heavenly Father and willingness to serve the Lord, he's willing to let God move the rock for him.It has been a blessing to watch him grow and struggle and triumph over adversity to become such a fine young man. Now, we give him over to the Lord for safe keeping for two full years and we do it with such joy!

Have a great day everyone!

"Cultivate Within You, The Attitude of Gratitude"

Our family had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year. My parents joined us for the first time in many years and it was memorable for us all. We also had the blessing of taking our son Ryan to the temple for the first time. He was such a ray of sunshine that day. So happy and so grateful to be with us in the house of the Lord. I will never forget that day.

This was a week of Thanksgiving like no other for our family. We are all deeply thankful that our dear husband and father of my children, Terry Otis is still with us after his unfortunate accident in October.

Today is his first day back to work. I felt such an ache in my heart as I sent him back into the world. It's been two months since his accident. It's been a time of fear, pain, suffering, elation, spiritual healing and gratitude for us all. So many emotions have been shared. So many miracles have been acknowledged during his convalescence.

We have learned something important. We know that there are no coincidences--only miracles. The more you become aware of these miracles, the more you see them. It's amazing! Start giving God the credit and you see more. Try it and your eyes will be opened today. Then be thankful in your prayers and the spirit will fill you too.

Our family has seen miracles from the moment Terry was hurt to this very day. This day is a miracle when a man who was in a motorcycle accident returned to work so quickly and nearly healed from all his injuries. I am filled with thanksgiving that he is whole and happy and getting back to the day to day task of supporting his family.

When I think of miracles, gratitude fills me and I know what my evangelical friends are so fond of expressing is true. God is good!

This mindset didn't come to me overnight. After the initial shock of the accident wore off a few weeks ago, I felt myself falling into despair as I became angry and even felt vengeful. I'm human right?

When I thought of the woman sitting at home unharmed after turning her SUV in front of my husband who was on an errand to pick up medicine for our son. I was angry because Terry was in excruciating pain after his hand surgery-- which she caused. I couldn't seem to get the pain under control with several medications the doctors had given him. This is a kind hearted man who always goes out of his way to help others and was never angry at the woman once!

I had to work through my feelings with the help of our beloved Heavenly Father. I begged for the anger to be taken from me. It didn't happen overnight either. I prayed daily. Some time after asking for help, information found it's way to me about the woman who had hurt Terry...

She hasn't been able to drive herself to work since October 3rd, the day of the accident. She has been shaken to her core by fear of hurting another person. Her daughter was cut by flying glass and is healed quickly, thank goodness! We found this out innocently by renting a rug cleaner at our local rental store. The clerk is the neighbor of the woman was the driver of the SUV.

We could have gone to the other rental place in town that day. I feel we were meant to gain comfort with the knowledge we innocently gleaned from the rental clerk at her insistence. Such tender mercies swept all pain from our hearts as compassion filled us up for this woman who was suffering so much. I pray for her daily now. We all do.

There is so much good in the world today. It would be easy to get derailed by this unfortunate accident our family experienced. Instead we choose to see the good now and not be changed forever by the bad. It's a choice we must all make when bad things happen to us in our lives.

This week I read a quote from President Monsen that I'm posting below. I hope it touches you as it has touched me. I pray you have a very good Monday.

"This is a wonderful time to be living here on earth. Our opportunities are limitless. While there are some things wrong in the world today, there are many things right, such as teachers who teach, ministers who minister, marriages that make it, parents who sacrifice, and friends who help.

"We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues"
President Thomas S. Monsen. Ensign, May 1992, p. 54

Erroneous Information--Not Taken Lightly

In response to my husbands cousin, whom Terry cares a great deal for, I'm posting the following two articles.

Although, I think many will choose not to believe either one. I suppose is your choice. Hey, America is a great place where we can all agree to disagree without fear of imprisonment. Though many in the past have been tarred and feathered for less--a very painful condition by the way. Something about having your skin peeled away with the hot tar just doesn't seem like something Joseph Smith looked forward to when he restored our church. It must have been horrific. I'm glad they stopped doing that to our fellow saints back in the 1800's.

The recent statement about how much money our church has given (sorry cousin;) is not true in the least. The church didn't give a cent, the members of our church did give of their own means and of their own time-- as many on the opposite side of the issue did. This is a moral issue and one we will continue to support as members of the church.

Below is a statement that our church has presented to the public. I hope this helps clarify the situation.

Church Issues Statement on
Proposition 8 Protest

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SALT LAKE CITY 7 November 2008 The Church issued the following statement today:

It is disturbing that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is being singled out for speaking up as part of its democratic right in a free election.

Members of the Church in California and millions of others from every faith, ethnicity and political affiliation who voted for Proposition 8 exercised the most sacrosanct and individual rights in the United States — that of free expression and voting.

While those who disagree with our position on Proposition 8 have the right to make their feelings known, it is wrong to target the Church and its sacred places of worship for being part of the democratic process.

Once again, we call on those involved in the debate over same-sex marriage to act in a spirit of mutual respect and civility towards each other. No one on either side of the question should be vilified, harassed or subject to erroneous information.

Catholic Bishop Decries Religious Bigotry Against Mormons

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SACRAMENTO 7 November 2008 (This news release was issued by the Roman Catholic Diocese of Sacramento) The following statement was released today by Bishop William Weigand, head of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Sacramento and former Bishop of Salt Lake City, in response to attacks on (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) for supporting California’s Proposition 8, defending the traditional definition of marriage:

“Catholics stand in solidarity with our Mormon brothers and sisters in support of traditional marriage — the union of one man and one woman — that has been the major building block of Western Civilization for millennia.

“The Protect Marriage coalition, which led the successful campaign to pass Proposition 8, was an historic alliance of people from every faith and ethnicity. LDS were included — but so were Catholics and Jews, Evangelicals and Orthodox, African-Americans and Latinos, Asians and Anglos.

“Bigoted attacks on Mormons for the part they played in our coalition are shameful and ignore the reality that Mormon voters were only a small part of the groundswell that supported Proposition 8.

“As the former bishop of the Diocese of Salt Lake City, I can attest to the fact that followers of the Mormon faith are a good and generous people with a long history of commitment to family and giving to community causes.

“I personally decry the bigotry recently exhibited towards the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — coming from the opponents of Proposition 8, who ironically, have called those of us supporting traditional marriage intolerant.

“I call upon the supporters of same-sex marriage to live by their own words — and to refrain from discrimination against religion and to exercise tolerance for those who differ from them. I call upon them to accept the will of the people of California in the passage of Proposition 8.”

This will be my last entry on this particular subject. This is not what my blog is about. I have been nothing but kind to anyone in our family or community that is lesbian or a gay. We love our family, we love our neighbors. We would never attack any of them, desecrate their temples, churches or call them names or harm their property like my friends have had done to them in CA.

I pray for my sons safety. He is a missionary in California. He has been welcomed, into homes of gays, lesbians and trans-gender people alike. They have thanked him for his kindness and his help! This is how my husband and I have raised our kids. This is what our church teaches. By the way, we do have people who have same sex attraction within our church who are faithful members.

We also know the difference between right and wrong and marriage is between a man and a woman and has been that way since time began. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, I don't mean it to be. This is something that God has decided, not man. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't speak the truth. That is one thing you'll learn about us, we try our best to be honest.

Personally I really don't care one way or another a person wants to enter into a civil union or a contract with another person. That is your choice and your right. You do have rights under the law. Anything less than that would be inhumane.

As a church, Mormons do believe that eternal marriage is a sacred covenant entered into between a man and a woman and Heavenly Father. A covenant is a promise between man and God--not something we will ever take lightly.

I really don't thrive on conflict like this. You'll find that most Latter-day Saints didn't enjoy holding signs in public or making calls or leaving their families open to harm and religious persecution. Yes, we are no strangers to being persecuted. That doesn't mean we enjoy it, or invite it. Enough said.

The Key to Happiness

"When Jesus gave His disciples a new commandment to 'love one another; as I have loved you' (John 13:34), He gave to them the grand key to happiness in this life and glory in the next."Love is the greatest of all the commandments--all others hang upon it. It is our focus as followers of the living Christ. It is the one trait that, if developed, will most improve our lives."

I learned a while back, that I am in charge of my own happiness. What a concept! My husband can add to my happiness as can my children--but ultimately I am in charge. Since realizing this amazing concept I have searched for the keys to happiness and found them in what Jesus has taught us. He lives and loves us so much and does want each of us to find joy and to be happy.
Recently I read an article in which they stated that those who have hope and are not clinically depressed, can find their way out of depression without medication. I was one of those people. Hope seems to be the key. Jesus Christ gives us that hope over and over in his teachings, both in ancient and modern times.


When we love one another, we give the other person hope through our love. Hope that whatever ails us can be lessened. Hope that we can help bear each others burdens and we are not alone in our affliction. We mirror what Christ feels for us through our actions. Hope does proceed the miracle. The miracle is that life will improve during hard times and that we can hang on if our life is difficult.

When all else fails and we are truly alone, our Savior holds us and comforts us as he is willing to do even when our lives are full of loved ones! Never forget that we are never alone.

Allow the Savior to give you comfort and solace during difficult times. Remember to share your lives with your loving Heavenly Father during good times as well as bad. You will feel His love if you allow yourself to do so prayerfully. The more you exercise your spiritual muscles the more you will feel His love for you during your days and your nights. You will be amazed at how you are in charge of ensuring that you feel the spirit as you strive to bask in it's light. What a blessing it is to know this to be true!

Many people have been calling the members of our church "haters". If you know members of the LDS or Mormon church, you know this to be so untrue. We have been taught to love our brothers and sisters no matter what color our skin is, what religion we are-- or even if you are heterosexual, gay or lesbian.

We are all brothers and sisters and children of a loving God. We are not taught to hate. Hate is a choice individuals make on their own when they stray from the path Christ has taught us.

Our Savior taught us to obey the commandments and to love our neighbors as ourselves. My neighbor is so different from myself. When I first met him he had tobacco stuffed in his lip and he used the Lords name in vein. His wife works in a liquor store and wears revealing clothes. I may have been a little shocked at first, but I didn't allow this to cloud my vision of who they are. I saw past all of that to see what good people they were and have been so blessed!

When my husband got into his car accident, Mike was the first person to help me. He drove me to the accident. He has since fixed our car and brought us food. He has called to check on my husband and how he's doing. I'm grateful we've developed a respect and friendship for each other despite our differences. I would have missed out if I had stood in judgment of this good man.

To stand up for righteousness and goodness and truth is something I teach my own children through Christs example. He taught us to have hope and to pray for those who might offend us. Hate was never in his teachings. So we must also not be haters of men. If we can develop love for our neighbors, we will improve the lives of others, as well as our own. Hope is a natural by- product that I have felt through our most recent experience with Terry's accident. All because so many reached out to us with so much love from places all over the world.

Thank you dear friends. Your love has been amazing!

Joseph B Wirthlin, "The Great Commandment," Ensign, Nov. 2007, 30 31

Elder Otis Returns to Russia!

Thank you all, for your prayers and well wishes for our son in Russia. He has safely arrived back in Russia from Sweden! He has had a great adventure and I wanted to share it with all of you. He was Branch President before he left for Sweden a month ago. Now he's a trainer and District Leader just like his Elder Brother Jason. Gosh is this ever exciting! Such a n honor as well. I hope you enjoy Elder Matthew Otis's latest letter below.

"Warning: Huge Email

Hey family,

How was my trip back? Well, Elder Peterson summed it up pretty well in our weekly newsletter. Here is his story of what happened on our trip back.

Six Hour Miracle
After serving for a month in Sweden, we were grateful and excited to be heading back home to "the Russia Motherland." We left our temple friends at 9:00 am Saturday morning and headed to the airport on Sweden's celestial commuter rail. All went well and we got all fourteen of us into the airport, passed probing security, and boarded onto our Scandinavian flight to Moscow. It all worked like clockwork, perfect and smooth. It seemed almost too good to be true…
We landed in Moscow's Sheremyetevo airport at 17:30--and with a 6 hour layover ahead of us, we strode into passport control with confidence that we could easily make our flight connection at the Domodyedovo airport. Now, for those of you who have never traversed the urban jungle of Moscow, Sheremyetevo is on the north side of Moscow―Domodyedovo on the complete other side of Moscow in the South. Our flight was scheduled to take off at 23:10, so we all felt confident that we could make the transfer without problem.
Landing at 17:30 we then stood in lines at passport control for about two hours waiting to get "processed" by the officials. Because of the delay we missed our express train which we were supposed to go on. Frustrated, rumpled, and tired we exited the airport and after following several poorly given instructions we located and headed towards the Express train which would take us to the metro.
Remember―14 people with luggage, running through Moscow, at night, and half of us have never been there.
So we get on the 19:50 express train and head off at a painfully slow pace. After a 40 minute stress filled ride, we jump off, run out of the vokzal, frantically find the metro, stand in a ridiculously long line (so typical of Moscow), grab metro coins, and then head on a Metro.
Remember―14 people with luggage, running through Moscow, at night, and half of us have never been there.
So, we head on the Metro and after a couple stops we get off and try to switch lines. Well, I've never made a metro line switch in my life, so I head off to the right, praying that we are going in the correct direction.
Miracle 1: As we are heading right, a man stops me. His cheeks were red, so I assumed he might be a little tipsy. He asked me if I was looking for something, in short he pointed us in the right direction. Why a miracle? 1. Possible drunk man stops me and doesn't ask "Вы иностранцы что ли?" 2. He asked me if he could help. That never happens. 3. This happened in Moscow. 4. His directions were actually correct.
So all 14 of us get on our new metro line and head to our stop. We jump off, leave the vokzal, find the Express train vokzal, and run in and buy tickets. By this time it is 21:15. Well it turns out that the next train was at 22:00. Which meant that we would get at the airport at 22:40. Our flight was at 23:10. Those times don't add up for checking in.
As we realize the probability of missing our flight, Elder Reynolds ran over to a random counter and started speaking with an attractive young lady attendant (see Miracle 3).
Miracle 2: This young lady told us that we would need to take the metro further down the line and then get on a shuttle. This would help us to get there faster. She also called the airport and let them know that we were going to be a little late and told them to wait. This provided to be one of the HUGE reasons we didn't miss our flight. She truly was a ministering angel for us.
Miracle 3: Elder Reynolds admitted that if he were to come back to Russia to marry someone, it would be her.
So we run outside the express train vokzal and hurriedly, frantically try to find the Metro again. We asked several people who told us to the left. However several people told us to the right. We quickly followed the counsel of the hymn "Choose the Right" and headed off to the right which actually turned to be the right direction.
Heading downwards into the metro, we again went through the process of buying tickets for all 14 of us. And then to our dismay we crammed ourselves into a completely stuffed metro car. We then traveled for a half hour trying to keep eye contact between all of us in order to get off on the correct stop.
After that half hour of grueling shoving and pushing we all stumbled out and ran up and out.
Remember―14 people with luggage, running through Moscow, at night, and half of us have never been there.
As we ran out, we found a shuttle, loaded, and headed out. That was at 22:00.
Miracle 4: It was a sheer miracle that we found an airport shuttle right off the bat, with just enough space for all of us to squeeze on with our luggage. Not only that the driver was nice about it.
So to make this long story short, we travel for half an hour and get at the airport at 22:30. We all run out, rush through check in, almost lose Elder Larsen, rush through security throwing belts and jackets off and on, rush to the gate, and jump onto the shuttle bus.
Miracle 5: We made it on our flight with literally only two minutes to spare. Remember―14 people with luggage, running through Moscow, at night, and half of us have never been there. By logic and reason we should not have made that flight. Miracles happen.
-Elder Peterson

So that's a pretty incredible story. It didn't really end for me either. The next day after going to bed at 4:30am I got up at 9:00 and I needed to get to Revda to get my luggage. I was trying to find someone who would go with me but no one wanted to. I understand since everyone who was with me had served in ekat and they wanted to go to church where they served, and not in Pervouralsk. So the only ones left in the apartment were Elder Finch and Rosel, and they had stuff to do, so they sent me off to Pervouralsk by myself.

Missionaries are stretched pretty thin right now, so a lot of people have had to do some weird transfer stuff. But it wasn't a big deal, I made it to church without a problem and even got there in time to take the sacrament. Just kind of weird flying solo. Testimony meeting was great though. I was able to bear my testimony to them one last time. Getting to see everyone again was really great, It was kind of like going back in time. I got to say goodbye to everyone and I got some numbers and email addresses. Then we went to take the sacrament to Baba Anya, so I got to see her one last time and I took one last picture with her. She was glad to see me and really sad that I wasn't coming back. She cries pretty much every time we leave though, so that's not a change.

Anyway, after that Elder Magleby, Stark, and I went back to Revda to get my stuff. Once we got there we got a call from Elder Finch that I had to be at the train station in Ekat by 6:00, so that meant that when I got back to the apartment I had to call a taxi and leave pretty much immediately. So I hadn't eaten anything, didn't have time to make anything, and was about to be going on a 4+ hour train ride with no food. Not to mention the fact that I barely ate anything yesterday. So I decided that I needed to buy something so I wouldn't pass out.

So I did, and they loaded up my stuff in the taxi and I headed out to the train station by myself again. They said that there would be people waiting for me to help me with my baggage(I was concerned about it since my baggage doesn't really function anymore so I need multiple people to help me), but I got dropped off in the parking lot so I had to get my luggage over there anyway. So I put the grocery bag with the juice and crackers and stuff in it around the handle of one of my bags, and I gery-rigged the rest so I was able to move them. I got through the parking lot and then needed to get them over the curb, then I had some issues. I had taped the handle back on the suitcase that had the grocery bag on it, and it decided to rip off when I tried to heft it over(my bags are pretty heavy), so it fell on the bag pretty hard, but I picked it up and kept going a little ways. Then I looked down and realised that my bag was dripping, my juice exploded, and filled up the plastic bag, which also soaked my crackers. So I was able to salvage my super snickers, and that's the only thing I ate the whole day. So then I waited there by myself for about an hour, and they finally got there and helped me get to the platform and on the train. So they helped me get my junk into the train, but then once I was in I couldn't figure out where my seat was, I was in the right section, but I couldn't find the seat number. Then they said they had to get off, so they left me not knowing what to do, with 3 disfunctional suitcases.

So I asked a guy next to me what to do, and I showed him my ticket. He said he didn't know, just pick an open seat, so he told me to sit next to him, so I did. When they checked out tickets I found out that I was supposed to be in 3rd class, and I was in 1st class, so if I wanted to stay there I had to pay about 10 dollars more. I didn't have any cash on me though, since I used it all on the taxi to the station. So I told her that I only had a card, and of course its Russia and they don't use cards anywhere so that wasn't going to work. But the nice lady took pity on me and told me that I could stay there, but if anyone else came and wanted to sit there I would have to move.

Luckily no one asked me to move, so I got to ride first class the whole way(first class on an electrishka isn't all that great though, but its way better than sitting on a metal bench for 5 hours), so I lucked out with that. But the guy I sat next to was a nice guy, his name was Ruslan. He actually lives in America, he lives in Los Angeles with his wife. His wife is American, but they were both born in Russia, and he mostly just speaks Russian. He said that where he lives in LA he doesn't really have to speak English, there are a lot of Russians there.

But anyway, I didn't really talk about the gospel with him because he told me he was atheist and didn't really want to talk about it. But he was nice and he helped me get my bags off the train, so he helped me out a bunch. Then I met up with my new companion Elder Dewey, but we are actually in a threesome right now with Elder Mizin also, because his companion(Elder Thompson who is my old companion) is in Kazakhstan and won't be back for 3 weeks. So we might be together for a while. He is Russian and doesn't really speak English, so I guess I'll be getting a lot of practice with the language for a few weeks.

So that's my situation right now. Wow, that turned into a long story, but its been a pretty wild ride the past few days, and just wanted to share it with you. Kurgan seems like a fun place. It's pretty Podunk, but its big and has some good members and a great meetinghouse. There are 2 companionships in Kurgan, a pair of Elders and a pair of Sisters, so that makes things pretty interesting, and p-days pretty uneventful since we can't do anything together. But the Sisters here are really good ones, so it's going to be great. I'm also going to be the District leader, so I have to work that now too. But it's going to be a good transfer, things are a little wacky right now, but things will settle down soon.

Well, thanks for the email. Glad you guys liked the stuff that I sent. Have a great week!

Elder Otis

"The Standard of Truth Has Been Erected!"

SCRIPTURE OF THE DAY: Isaiah 11:11-12

"And it shall come to pass in that day, that the Lord shall set his hand again the second time to recover the remnant of his people, which shall be left, from Assyria, and from Egypt . . . and from the islands of the sea. And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah, from the four corners of the earth."

"That ensign was the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which was established for the last time, never again to be destroyed or given to other people. . . . Following the raising of this ensign, the Lord sent forth his elders clothed with the priesthood and with power and authority, among the nations of the earth, bearing witness unto all peoples of the restoration of his Church, and calling upon all the children of men to repent and receive the gospel . . . and they are still preaching the gospel and gathering out from the nations the seed of Israel unto whom the promise was made" (Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 3, p. 254-255). It is a comfort to me during my hardest days to know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ will never be taken from the earth again. As my sons preach the gospel on separate ends of the earth I feel such a deep sense of gratitude and love for our Savior for all He has done for us. It inspires me to strive to do much good while I am here. It is the same for my sons. The following is a letter from Elder Otis in CA. Tomorrow I'll post the follow up letter from Elder Otis in Russia. Keep religious freedom alive in California everyone! If you don't live there, speak to someone who does. The family unit and religious freedom are under attack in that state. Pray hard for our brothers and sisters who have had their cars keyed and their homes violated while standing up for what is right! Our Weekly Letter From Elder Otis in Los Angeles: "Talk about a spiritual smack in the face! You know I don't think there is a thing that I can write to compare with everything you guys have written this week. The miracles never end it seems. I guess I'll just write how my week is going as I usually do ; ) I got a new companion! His name is Elder Brantly and he's straight from the MTC. So on top of being a district leader I get to train as well. Life is good. Elder Brantly is from Murray, Utah which is about 10 minutes south of Salt Lake City. If there ever was a stereotypical greenie he is it. hehehehe Talk about greenie fire! He's got a lot of really good ideas and I'm doing my best to direct them and point him in the right direction. I'm grateful for the chance to train a new missionary. My trainer wasn't all that great so I know I need to do the best I can. President Blackburn has stressed the importance of this calling. He said "Right now you 5 missionaries (the trainers) have the most important calling in this mission. You are the ones to show these missionaries how to act and how to work. What you teach them will affect this mission for a long time to come. You're the best this mission has got and I expect only the best from you." NO PRESSURE MAN! Yikes! So mom, when you say to keep working hard to the end of our missions you don't have to worry. I won't have the chance to slack off even if I wanted to. President has a funny way of making sure of things like that. I just have to say how absolutely amazing it is that the Lord has taken care of our family the way He has. Everyone always says that the Lord has blessed them for serving a mission. I know I can say the same and list the examples. I also know that we will be blessed far into the future for serving the Lord. I know the gospel is true and I know the Lord is watching out for us. As long as we stay faithful we won't ever have to worry. There will be hard times to come but we will always be able to get through. I think we are at something of a turning point. I know that I have a greater desire to serve the Lord and I think the rest of you do as well. Because of that our lives have changed. We are all going to have opportunities to serve the Lord well after our missions are over. I remember a blessing that you once received mom. Something about your sons having great callings in the church. I know the Lord has qualified me thus far so I don't think I need to worry much. I'll just serve Him the best I can and He'll take care of the rest. Things are heating up in politics around here as I'm sure they are around the country. Right now we're all praying that Proposition 8 will pass. Thousands of hours have been put into it by the members of the church here. The prophet has asked us all to pray today. It's getting down to the wire and everyone is working hard. The opposition hasn't been kind. People have had their houses graffitied and their cars keyed for having prop 8 signs up. Along with all of their signs being stolen. You can actually see a lot of it on Youtube apparently. It just shows you what kind of people are on the other side of this. And somehow they call us the bigots. These really are the latter days. Anyway, I'm so glad to hear about that check coming in. And dad I'm praying for you to get better soon. I really hope you get the settlement that you're working toward. Whatever happens, the Lord will take care of us as you've said. You're all in my prayers. I'll keep working hard so the Lord will bless us. THE STANDARD OF TRUTH HAS BEEN ERECTED! I love you all. Have a wonderful week. Elder Jason E. Otis"

The Night of Terry's accident PLUS update

Dear Readers,

I'm sitting here exhausted, but too keyed up to sleep after the horror of this day. I think I just needed to write the events of the day down to put my mind at ease. So please forgive me because I might be pretty loopy after all I've been through. I still have not allowed myself to cry, there will be time for that later after things have gotten better.

Terry, the love of my life was nearly taken from me today by an inattentive driver and mother of two. She turned her SUV right in front of my husband who had the right of way and nearly killed him on his motorcycle. His injuries at first seemed amazingly small but as the evening wore on he showed signs of internal wounds. Initially he had several cuts that needed suturing and a broken wrist a concussion too. But he was wearing a helmet. The doctor had CT'd his head and back and neck and said all was clear. Whew! But he kept saying it was hard to breathe and his side hurt. I got really mad at that point! I demanded they CT his chest and gut before I left the hospital with him. The doc agreed and when the tests came back I was horrified. He had a broken breast bone, a lacerated spleen and a broken kidney (part had torn off) So, we were medivacked (sp?) to a triage unit at a renowned hospital 45 min. away. He was kept in that room for observation and evaluation and later taken up to the ICU where they will wake him every 2 hours and check his blood levels for internal bleeding and his concussion too. A surgeon is standing by if needed. He happens to be the best in the state. Another blessing!

I am so grateful for the people who were there when this happened! One of my Laurels was the first on the scene. She took care of him, comforted him and she called 911! I love her so much. Her mom was the one I could focus on as my legs could barely carry me to the horrible scene. I love you Tawnya. Thank you! you were more comfort than I can say. When I arrived they were cutting my husbands clothing off all the way to his garments in the middle of the street! I knew he must be alive or they wouldn't have bothered. I didn't even care. Who would. His garments protected him as much as his helmet did. I can testify of this fact. The Police and the paramedics said it was a miracle he was alive--that he must have guardian angels.

I am filled with gratitude for a Father who does hear and listen and answer our prayers. So many have been there to help me today. So many family and friends have lifted us in prayer and I am so thankful.

Now I need to know what to do about my missionaries. I need the MP's number for Los Angeles. If any of you can hunt down that number for me and kindly write to me and give it to me I would be so grateful. I'm a wreck. I need to allow them to pray for their dad. He is the kindest gentlest man I have ever known. He was more concerned for the woman who hit him than his own life when he came to his senses. He is why I am the person I am today. Today, I realized just how much I would lose if I lost the love of my life. My heart would go with him.

Please pray for the woman who is suffering tonight. They had to hospitalize her, she felt so bad and was so traumatized by the accident that they sedated her heavily. I only know this because she was down the hall from us crying so loud that I couldn't help but hear her. My son went to comfort her and tell her that Terry was going to live and to know we were worried about her too. She was still there after we left. My heart breaks for her too.

Terry may be out of work for several days, perhaps weeks. I have no idea how we will make ends meet now. Please pray for us all.

UPDATE:
Terry has improved since Saturday evening a great deal. He no longer needs surgery on his knee. He can sit in his chair right next to his bed. He still can't eat which is not good because he won't be released until he can. He needs surgery on his hand soon but his kidney and spleen must be stabilized before he can do so. His spirits are so good as always. Gotta love that man! He is amazing and we adore him. He is our rock. On the other hand our son Hunter is having a difficult time and is so tender hearted. Ryan has been my strength and has given us all blessings with Brother Herdclotz's help. Their family is amazing and has held us up in so many ways starting with their sweet Jessica who was one of the first on the scene and helped my husband when not a single soul would. She is our hero and we love her and will be her friends forevermore. She will never know how grateful we truly are because I just can't tell her enough. She continues to check on us. I will write her story of heroism soon and you will join me in applauding this 16 year old good for her courage and strength. It is simply a blessing. Angels who are our brothers and sisters here on earth and in heaven have attended us from moment to moment and our gratitude for a loving Heavenly Father knows no bounds.

Amidst all the turmoil a beacon of hope lit the way for us to hang onto. Our son Ryan received his mission call to the Everett Washington Mission! His mission will encompass my childhood home Whidbey Island! Simply amazing!

We were able to call our two sons in the mission field. My heart is so full this morning. I pray you all hug you loved ones tight today. Never take for granted that kiss goodbye. Never be afraid to express your great love for your spouse. I knew in those moments of horror that I never had taken my sweet Terry for granted. Had always told him I love you and we had shared an amazing life full of love for each other ever single day the last nearly 24 years. It is a very good feeling amidst all this turmoil.

Thank you for your prayers.

Love Valora

My Los Angeles Spanish Speaking Missionary

HI everybody!

Well first off it's really cool to see that huge garden of yours. I had no idea it was that big. It'll be cool next year to help out with it.
Bummer to hear about the temple. I will never understand why some people think it's funny or entertaining to do something like that. If only they knew the condemnation they were bringing upon themselves. It's good to hear that the temple was full after that though. We've always had a problem with not enough people attending the temple over there. Maybe now people will see more of a need.
Yesterday was our musical fireside in Downey. I got to sing in another quartet but this time it was with me and Elder Harper and two sisters. Boy oh boy, if you think I sing well you should hear hear those other three. Whooooeeeee that was a good sound. We sang "Lean On My Ample Arm" #120 in the hymn book. Try singing all the parts as a family to that on. Good luck.
The crowd was HUGE last night. We had the whole chapel filled and two thirds of the gym. And it's a stake center! I was really happy with the spirit that was there. It was all about the Living Christ. It's always a good sign when you see people crying in the audience. Hopefully many of those who were touched and who attended were investigators.
Anyway I'm kinda glad that it's over with. It's always stressful to plan out any musical production. This week we're going to have transfers. As far as I know I'll be staying here. I don't see any reason that I'd be leaving. I'm looking forward to next transfer too. We've been finding some good people recently and there is some promise from the new couples that have moved into the ward as well. I think we'll be quite busy in the coming weeks which is always nice.
Today we're going golfing again. I told the other Elders in our apartment that I didn't want to pay for another round of golf. They wanted to go so bad that they're going to pay for me. I guess I can't say no to that. It's Elder Thackerays last P-day in the mission. He goes home on Wednesday. So this is his last hurrah. That boy is TRUNKY! I'm just glad he worked hard to the end. (by the way, he's one of the other Elders in our apartment.) I'll be sad to see him go.
Well Ryan I think you're due to write me another email. I'm telling you man, if you want me to write you while you're out on your mission you had better start writing me now! ; ) I'm really happy to hear that your papers are finally in to Salt Lake! I want to hear how everything is going according to Ryan. Talk to me man! I love ya bro.
By the way I haven't been able to listen to your sound byte Matt. I have it but I just don't have any head phones and the library computers don't have speakers. So one of these days I'll get to listen to it. Feel free to send more in the mean time.
To all you at home I'll try and remember to record something on my tape player and send it to you. I think I promised to do that a while ago but I just haven't gotten around to it. Always so busy. I have some stuff recorded from a while back so I'll probably just add on to that. It'll be interesting to hear stuff from past transfers and companions.
We'll I'm outta here. I'll be making a picture CD soon. My memory card is officially full. I've been taking smaller pictures for a while now so hopefully that will allow you to put them on the web.

Have a fantasmical week everybody. Love ya!

Your son and brother,
Elder Jason Otis

(by the way, tell Elder Moake that yes I want my basketball and no I don't know where his key went. : )

My Gratitude For the St. Paul Minnesota Temple

Dear Friends,

I was filled with gratitude today as I stood viewing the fire damage to our St. Paul Temple. Gratitude, because at 3am Wednesday morning a passerby saw the fire engulfing the entry of the temple-- and called the fire department or 911 for help.

I was told today that when the fire department arrived, the fire was already out pretty much on it's own. Or was there Heavenly intervention? We'll never know. Though it blackened the entry and especially the left part of the doorway where the incendiary device landed--it had no real fuel to keep it going. If the device had been thrown on the rooftop, it would have been a disaster I was told.

I looked at the stained-glass panels to the left of the doors, the storm coverings had been removed. White caulking filled in the small gaps where the glass had broken. The smoke had entered the building through those beautifully crafted, broken panes and filled up the entry way between the outside and inside doors. The smoke had also gone into the waiting room and coat closet there to the right.

The temple worker said that the firemen knew of the sacredness of our temple and had not entered through the second set of doors out of respect. I again felt the same swelling of gratitude flow through me as I realized the double blessing that had occurred this week. Respect of our community has been hard earned and now a blessing. We were able to have the temple doors open right after this incident and now we continue to be blessed by the work that is being done. What a way to show the world our strong belief in Temple work and our testimony as members of the LDS Church.

The marble around the Temple doors may be blackened, a terrible person wanted to do it harm. But even the marble will be good as new soon, as it's sanded and polished this week. The stain-glass replaced as well....As I thought hard about all that transpired this week while in the celestial room, I did see the silver lining in this situation.... The temple was full to overflowing today. They had to bring in three rows of extra chairs!

Perhaps, this was a wake up call for all of us here in MN, to renew our dedication to do the sacred work our Father in Heaven has asked us to do. Our hopes were renewed today as our gratitude and thanksgiving filled the temple rooms and filled my heart and the hearts of so many there. It was a palpable feeling for many of us who attended. The prayer today was a reflection of much of the same as I sat in this Holy place.

I am truly glad to be a member of this church! The temple is the closest place to heaven on earth and I am so happy we have the privilege of having a house of the Lord here in Minnesota.

I am thankful no more damage was done and that the four people who were endowed today in our session, were able to do so and be surrounded by so many loved ones. Every time I do the work for our kindred dead, I think of the reunion we'll have one day and there aren't words to describe the joy I feel. How they must feel it even more than I.

Same Sex Attraction and Hope

Recently a sister in my Missionary Mom's group told how her teenage son had confided that he was attracted to other boys and not to girls. She asked for assistance in knowing what to do to help her son. This was my response....

I once gave a talk in church about this same subject. I quoted Gordon B. Hinkley and I can't seem to find the talk now, so I'll say this...Our Prophets heart went out to those people in our church and in the world with same sex attraction. I feel the same way.

In a talk by Elder Holland, I found so many answers to this sisters question. I have often heard the Prophet say the same. I pray this soothes your mothers hear a little. You can find the entire article by placing the title in the search window at LDS.org.

Helping those Who Struggle with Same-Gender Attraction

By Jeffrey R. Holland 

of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

"A pleasant young man in his early 20's sat across from me. He had an engaging smile, although he didn't smile often during out talk. What drew me in was the pain in his eyes. "I don't know if I should remain a member of the Church, " he said. "I don't think I'm worthy."

"Why wouldn't you be worthy?" I asked.

"I'm gay."

I suppose he thought I would be startled. I wasn't. " And...?" I inquired.

A flicker of relief crossed his face as he sensed my continued interest. "I'm not attracted to women. I'm attracted to men. I've tried to ignore these feelings or change them, but..."

He sight. "Why am I this way? The feelings are very real."

I paused, then said, "I need a little more information before advising you.  You see, same-gender attraction is not a sin, but acting on those feelings is--just as it would be with heterosexual feelings. Do you violate the law of chastity?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't."

This time I was relieved. " Thank you for wanting to deal with this, ' I said. "It takes courage to talk about it, and I honor you for keeping  yourself clean.

"AS for why you feel as you do, I can't answer that question.  A number factors may be involved, and they can be as different as people are different. Some things, including the cause of your feelings, we may never know in this life. But knowing why you feel as you do isn't as important as knowing you have not transgressed. If your life is in harmony with the commandments, then you are worthy to serve in the Church, enjoy full fellowship with the members, attend the temple, and received all the blessings of the Savior's Atonement."

He sat up a little straighter. I continued,  "You serve yourself poorly when you identify yourself primarily by your sexual feelings. That isn't your only characteristic, so don't give it disproportionate attention. You are first and foremost a son of God, and he loves you.

"What's more, I love you. My Brethren among the General Authorities love you. I'm reminded of a comment President Boyd K. Packer made in speaking to those with same-gender attraction. ' We do not reject you, "he said." We cannot reject you, for you are the sons and daughters of God. We will not reject  you, because we love you.'

We talked for another 30 minutes or so. Knowing I could not be a personal counselor to him, I directed him to his local priesthood leaders. Then we parted. I thought I detected a look of hope in his eyes that had not been there before. A thought he yet faced challenges to work through--or simply endure--I had a feeling he would handle them well."

****

I pray that today, this article helps someone out there in cyberspace who is struggling with same sex attraction.

How amazing our church leaders are! We learn such compassion for our brothers and sisters through their examples! 

Do not shun or throw your children away when they confide in you! Love them, hug them and take the advice above and strive with your children as they try their best to live the precepts of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When or if they choose to stray from that path, remember, God loves them still--and so must you.

My Missionary In Russia

Dear Readers,

Sometimes I am amazed at how much we can help a person if we don't have any preconceived ideas going into a situation. We don't judge or adapt our words for a specific situation. We can go in and serve our neighbor, even love them if we keep our hearts and our minds open to the Holy Ghost. We have to continue to remember that we are all brothers and sisters and our Father in Heaven loves each of us so dearly.

I have enclosed the following letter from our son, a missionary for the LDS Church in Russia. I receive letters from him and his elder brother each week. It is a blessing in each of our lives as we read their words. I hope you find something here that helps you today.

Blessings,
Valora

"Hey everyone,

Thanks for the letters, sounds like things are getting pretty interesting for you guys. Keep on going forward in faith, you guys are doing great! So Ryan got the job at Anderson, thats really great. Is he working for Wood Rite day shift? It's a good place to work, I don't have any complaints against it, it's a good honest company. I don't know if summer is over yet, but the weather has changed, it's like it's spring again. It's raining all the time and we've been wearing light jackets/sweaters for the past few days. So maybe it's officially fall here. I'll make sure and fast for both of you next week, I know that with our combined faith we can accomplish great things.

Well, Elder Thompson and I had a great week. We have recently gotten a lot of really solid contacts that will hopefully be turning into investigators soon, we have found a section of our area that is pretty productive for contacting so we have been contacting it frequently. We didn't have any meetings with investigators this week, we had some set up but they fell through. But we are confident that these new contacts will turn out and we'll have some great new investigators soon. This week we were able to meet with a good amount of recent converts and less actives. Nina, Lada, and Artyom are all doing well and progressing in the gospel. We had a exceptional meeting with Zilya this week, she is a long time less active. We talked about faith and testimony with her, which did go over well with her, but the highlight of the meeting was the fact that she took some of our advice and acted on it. We have been trying to get the Holy Ghost back into her life, and most of the meetings that we have had with her she has told us that it just isn't possible because of the place that she lives in. I guess most of the people that live around her really don't like her and swear at her all the time, usually when she is walking around outside, or when her window is open. We tried to give her advice, to just shrug it off and not pay atention to it, but she would just bottle it up inside and explode back at them with similar language. We also talked about how she can't hate everyone around her and have the Holy Ghost at the same time, we are all children of God and you should respect all people even if they do wrong. Well, she hasn't learned quite yet to love her neighbors, but her outlook is changing and she isn't swearing anymore and she found a way to get people to swear at her less. She put a sign up on her door, and on her window, and on her fridge to remind herself, and it says,"Only sin offends me, not sick idiots." And when people swear at her, she tells them that. It's not exactly the best thing to say, but she is making progress and she seemed a lot happier when we met.
She fed us which was really nice of her, and next time I think we are going to make some tacos for her. It's really good that we have been able to become friends, for so long no missionaries met with her, and if they did it turned out really bad because they went in with preconceived notions of her.
I went into my first meeting with her not knowing anything about her, and I think that really helped. She is a really hard women to teach, she is really philyshopical and always examines the scriptures with her mind and not her heart, which is a road block to helping her, but she is starting to change and it is amazing to see. I just keep thinking that if only she could change her heart in the right direction she would become a great strength to the church in Russia, she is very intelligent and knows several languages. I just hope that she'll get straightened out in the future.

Anyway, I thought I said in my last email that I would not be staying in Pervouralsk after this transfer. Just the feeling I got from my interview and the way things are going makes me think that I'm getting shipped out of her in two weeks, I'll have transfers for you next week I think, so we'll find out soon. As soon as we get our new meeting place moved to Revda (the other city in the branch) they will most likely be closing my city and the Elders in Revda will have both cities as their areas. This is happening all over the mission now because no new missionaries are coming in. So it's going to be hard for this branch to lose two missionaries but it's what the Lord wants and they'll be stronger for it, I just hope that they people that I've been meeting with will stay strong and active.

Something pretty funny happened this Sunday, our first counselor was in Moscow (a lot of the branch went to Moscow for a youth/young single adult conference) so I led the meeting, and it was pretty funny to read the program because it went like so:

Presiding on the meeting: Elder Otis

Leading the Meeting: Elder Otis

Playing the Piano: Elder Otis

Leading the Music: Sister Nina Belyaevskih.

So the congregation got a good laugh out of it too. The speakers (Elder Taylor and Sister Nelly Zaitseva) went a little short so I said a few things at the end of the meeting about how the branch was going to be moving soon to Revda, and how it is going to be a blessing for some and a trial for others, and I shared how at one time we had to travel a long distance to go to our meeting too(remember when we met at the Hudson building?). And then to top it off, I also gave the lesson for the second hour since it was a fifth sunday (we only go for two hours so it was a combined Relief Society and Preisthood Meeting). So I had my hands full to say the least, but it's not scary at all anymore, so I can do what I need to do.

Well, I think this is enough writing for me for one day, my brain is starting to hurt. I finally got the package so I've been buying stuff!!!! Yay!!! Now that I have some money I'm going to try and send out that package that I've been promising, I'll tell you next week if I sent it out. I just printed off some pictures the other day for you guys, they are pretty good except the fact that a lot of them have red-eye problems. Well, I hope you have a great week, keep on keeping on! Hey there are some Australians in this internet cafe, Elder Abel is talking with them, you never know who you'll meet here.

Love ya,

Matt"