"That's Enough Happiness With the Dog!"

Today is an interesting one for me. My husband has gone hunting for the week. My kids are all grown up and gone... It's an odd state to be in after all the years of happy hub-bub of our home.

I remember times that I actually wished for days like these. Oh, you know what I mean. Those days when all the kids are up all night with high fevers. or in the hospital with things you can't fix or take away...

There was one moment I wish I could take back.

Our kids had two of their best friends over for lunch. I was exhausted and sleep deprived. One of our sons decided to be extra sassy that day.

I remember grabbing the family size bottle of ranch dressing at one point and fighting the impulse to hose him down with the dressing!

I placed the bottle firmly on the table, in order to resist the temptation. Some of the kids went silent.

Then, Ryan said yet another sassy remark to me... Before I knew what I was doing, I had that plump bottle back in my hands and growled while a guizer of white dressing shot across the table. I hosed him from head to toe with the white, sticky mess!

Finally, the nasty look was off his face replaced with horror. I too was horrified at what I had done. As the empty bottle fell limply from my hands to the table top, I wished I could go back in time.

All was silent for a moment. I heard a snort and then giggles from the other boys and then outright laughter. Ryan, ran from the room in mortification.

I sat heavily in a chair. I realized I'd never done such an awful thing to my kid. I felt crushed with guilt.

A few minutes later he came out and ate his lunch with more respect that I had ever witnessed. An unusual calmness washed over me as I apologized to him in front of the others.

Yes, moms do make mistakes. Our son often brings up the story and hugs me and tells me how much he loves me. All is well thank goodness! My son realized he was a handful back then. There are days that try our very last nerve as parents. There are times we feel repentant as well.

Do you have moments when your heart feels like it will expire, because it's filled with happy moments it might pop? I sure have.

One of those such happy moments could be when I happened upon our youngest, now serving a mission. Hunter was playing with our golden retriever in the living room. The young dog was bounding from the couch to the floor and back again. Hunter was giggling, silky blond hair shining in the lamplight as he twirled to keep up with where the dog landed. He was tossing a ball on the couch as the dog followed. They both looked so happy I couldn't bring myself to scold them for throwing a ball in the room and jumping on my best couches! So I watched quietly and felt their joy, if only for a moment.

Suddenly Hunter reached out to the dogs collar, knelt down on one knee, then placed both his chubby hands on either side of the dog's face and said these memorable words...

"That's enough happiness with the dog now." Then he walked away.

Such a simple way of telling the dog and himself it was time to settle down. Happiness was the feeling I'd gotten from the childlike scene I'd witnessed. It's a moment I draw from when I miss my boys.

After 25 years of being a stay at home mom and wife, I revel in the joys that are mine to keep in my heart during these times I'm enjoying now.

This season in my life is a time for reflection until things pick up again. I'm sure they will when all our kids are done with college and return home once again. I'm looking forward to those years with anticipation.

Copyright 2010 by Valora A. Otis

The Healing Message...

Today we went to a wonderful graduation party. It was our sons sweethearts party. The party was the best one I'd attended in years. So many friends were there. I can't recall having such a good time in years! Maybe because I can actually enjoy a lively conversation again? In the past I couldn't follow a conversation for long, the fog would roll in on my brain and I'd feel anxious. It was very disconcerting.

Now, I feel like I've joined the land of the living once again. I can't describe how it feels to be able to notice the trees and the leaves and the even the ripples in the water on the lake again.
When I wasn't sleeping I was just trying to survive. I was gradually circling the drain of life--and I felt myself slowly dieing away. It was so hard to feel that way and not have doctors that would listen to me. I'm grateful that they finally did and now my life is getting better and better as the days go on! I'm so filled with joy at the prospect of living a full and meaningful life once again.

I love my Heavenly Father so much and I pray that I can show my gratitude towards Him by living my life as Jesus would want me to. The second half of my life is going to be beautiful! No matter what trials come my way, I'm determined to live it prayerfully and with hope and thanksgiving for what it does bring.

A quote I read this week really touched my heart about how the Gospel of Jesus Christ touched one mans life. I had to share it with all of you because without the Gospel, I'm not so sure I could have held on for so long. I know that President Uchtdorf feels much the same way...It is also the source of my strength and my hope and faith as well.

"In the middle of [the] despair [of postwar Germany], my family learned about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints and the healing message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. This message made all the difference; it lifted us above our daily misery. Life was still thorny and the circumstances still horrible, but the gospel brought light, hope, and joy into our lives. The plain and simple truths of the gospel warmed our hearts and enlightened our minds. They helped us look at
ourselves and the world around us with different eyes and from an elevated
viewpoint."




(Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Have We Not Reason to Rejoice?" Ensign, Nov. 2007, 19)

Learning From Our Children

My son is an undercover internal security person for our local Walmart. He is also turning his mission papers in next week. When he told me what happened that night during his shift, it brought tears to my eyes. He often comes home and unburdens himself about the people he had to detain or have arrested. He never mentions names. I'm a soft place to land...I love him dearly and he needs me. I'll do my best to relay the story as accurately as possible.
****
Mom, he was there on the security camera screen again. Just standing there, hands hanging limp at his sides staring off into space with a look that made my chest hurt. I'd seen the look before, but this time it reached deep down inside of me and made me want to act, to help somehow. He looked like all his hope had been sucked dry, Mom. Each time he'd move through the store he'd stop, like he was trying to figure something out and failing miserably. So, I decided to go and talk to him. It had been four hours since he'd come into the store. I knew that after reviewing the store tapes. Too long for shopping-- but he hadn't taken a single thing.

So I approached him quietly. I stopped to talk with him. He really did seem lost, Mom. He told me his name as we talked.

When he realized I wasn't going to throw him out of the store he confided in me. I'd heard stories like his before, but somehow this man and his grief seemed even more deep. He had just been released from jail after serving a one month sentence. He had been arrested on an old warrant. He had served his month and then was dropped off at Walmart. He had no money, no home and no plans. He was overwhelmed and didn't know where to go or what to do. He had tried to call his mother, but after she was kicked out of his apartment for lack of money, she had simply disappeared. He had no other family, no connections, no job, no social security card....nothing. He was despairing....

I'm so grateful my son was the one who found this very repentant man. He said that he knew he'd done wrong. That he'd been a drinker two years previous, but before the police arrested him he'd straightened out his life and had a good job by then and was even taking care of his mom. He knew that the arrest was correct and had served his time. But no one had told him what to do next. When you are arrested, you are stripped of you social security number and must file for a new one. My son knew that from his police explorer training. They had resources for him to check out, but he hadn't understood and had failed to take advantage. So Ryan told him that he was going to try and put some things in place for him and he purchased the man some dinner in the McDonalds there in the store and told him he'd be right back...

Well, my son went from department to department all over the store telling people about the gentleman and asking for donations so that he would have a place to stay that night. Every last person he spoke with donated money. They all love my boy. He's a real sweetie. By the time he was finished he had enough money for several days at our super 8 motel and money for some food too. My son also had noticed that the man had lost a lot of weight and didn't have a belt and had to hold his pants up with his hand...so he had bought one for him while the gentleman was eating.The man simply cried when Ryan told him about all so many people had done for him. Then he and another employee drove him to and introduced him to a local church clergy nearby who had agreed to mentor him and help find him work.

All of this was done by a 19 year old who is preparing to leave for the mission field this summer. If he can do this for someone, so can we! Ask for Heavenly Father to send someone your way that you can help today. Never think, I can't help someone like that! You might miss an opportunity to change someone's life for the better--lift them up. Our son told me once, that "it's when we start thinking that we are better than the criminals, that we need to humble ourselves and think twice. Some people make one mistake and pay for the rest of their lives. Any one of us could make a wrong turn and regret it." I know in my heart that Heavenly Father will show us all the right way to live if we choose to follow Him.

Gosh I love my boys! I learn something from them every day.

Goofy Things are Lurking...

I found a website that was so much fun! It's called A Ton of Authors and a Wannabe . I enjoyed all the stories I've read there. If you have a chance check out that blog today. I think you'll like it too.

This morning I'm off to the Relief Society breakfast. It's my first in this ward. I do hope it's fun and that I can behave myself! There have been times in the past where during a case of nerves I opened my mouth and the oddest things have fallen out. So now I remain a listener most of the time. This past year it's been like that. They talk, I listen and frankly I've learned far more about myself because of this new gained self control. Have I finally grown up? Perhaps, but I do know that goofy things are lurking, waiting to be spewn forth to embarrass me eventually. You never know, it may make the gathering happier with my comic relief! It could happen...

The thing is, I have this quirky sense of humor. I can find humor in the most serious circumstance. A gift, you might say? Sometimes it's the ice breaking comment that binds a group together. When I was nervous last week during my lesson I taught the 12-14 year old girls--it was a huge help. Blank stares softened as smiles crept into place as I relayed a story about a girl who was trying to balance what was Good, Better or Best in her life. Many went home to tell their moms how excited they were to have me for a leader. Now that was worth the risk I took just being myself.

So, after thinking about this a little further I've realized that being reserved for a time was good while I got to know what our surroundings and new friends were like. Now feeling free to be myself should be the end goal.

In Minnesota, being reserved and having a dry whit seems to be the norm. I think it comes from being nearly frozen here. It gets you through the misery that is winter and the accompanying brain freeze.

Do sub zero temperatures change a person? I think so, but for the good of course. Our son in Russia was more prepared than most before he left for the bitter Siberian winters. He had to explain himself to his latest companion from Idaho though. This sensitive boy that was homesick thought my son hated him. That was furthest from Elder Otis's mind. He's the kindest soul. He thought the world of his new comp. After a few weeks they had a meeting of minds apologies were exchanged and accepted. They are very close now and our son was greatly relieved to have bridged the gap of misunderstanding.

I'm originally from the West Coast and therefore I'm different. We tend to look for what the person speaking "really means." I have no idea where that one started. What you see or say is what you mean or get in our region.

I did have an uncle that would come to visit the Island when I was a kid. None of us could understand his sense of humor. My mom was always mad at him for one reason or the other. I just thought he was rude. Years went by and my husband kids and I had moved to Minnesota. I was so homesick for family one year that we opted to go to Missouri for Thanksgiving to visit that Uncle and my favorite Auntie. By then we had been living here for a few years. I had blended as best I could with the locals. My kids were speaking with that Minnesota "O" and accepted. Anyway to be brief, I finally understood my Uncles sense of humor on that trip. It was like a revelation! I laughed until I cried. The man was that hilarious! I was sad that I hadn't understood him sooner.

That was when I learned to listen better to the nuances of local humor. I started to find humor in every terrible situation in my life. My trials seemed smaller and the joy felt brighter too. I learned finally that life is meant to be enjoyed and we as children of a loving God are meant to have joy. Of course there is a time and a place for everything. Since our move a year ago I've learned to be kinder and gentler. I've also learned how humor has lifted me as an individual and blessed my life and the lives of others.

Yes, if you come to visit me in Minnesota--do remove your shoes at the door. It's what we do after living in Hawaii. Then, listen for the laughter and the music of our homes sweet spirit to guide you in. Chances are that I'll be the one you hear laughing.

Love, laugh and live your life to it's fullest each day. It's a blessing--you'll see.